It’s Almost Race Day!

So I realize I’ve been slacking on my posts, but I started getting all “Yay running!” and really, who wants to read that? I was starting to irritate myself with the “yay running” posts, so I knew it had to be bad.

Anyway, all the training has finally come to this – in less than 36 hours, I’ll be running in my very first race. Nothing like diving into a little old 1/2 marathon with only 18,499 other runners for my first one!
 
I’m scared to death! I’m excited, but just hoping I don’t throw up on the start line

Have my race day shirt washed and ready to go.



And made my son his own shirt to wear as he cheers me on. He keeps telling me he’s going to yell, “GO MOMMY GO!” when I run by, so I felt I should make him an appropriate shirt to wear.



And I also made him a sign to hold up!



And now I head to bed with a notepad next to me so I can keep writing down all the things I keep remembering I need to bring with me tomorrow as I head with my Team in Training group into the city to prep for the big day. Then 8 am on Sunday, the race begins!

See you all after it’s all over! Eeek! I can’t believe I’m doing this!

Keep on running,

Double Digits Times Two!

I can’t even believe I’m actually typing this. I truly never thought it would happen. I couldn’t ever imagine that even with the right training I would ever be saying what I’m about to say. But I am…
I ran 10 miles! Wait, let me scream it from the rooftops. I RAN 10 MILES!

Better yet, I ran 10 miles TWO separate times now!

That’s right. The girl who couldn’t even run a single mile without walking back in April can now run 10 miles without walking. Last week’s long run was supposed to be 8 miles, but after 8 miles I amazingly felt so good, I didn’t want to stop, so I pushed for 10 and I did it! This weekend, my training actually called for 10 miles this weekend, so I had to do it again – and I did!

I still can’t even believe it.

And it may sound kind of silly to say, but I’m pretty darn proud of myself.

I’m proud of myself for signing up for this in the first place. Team in Training requires a HUGE commitment and I’m generally quite the commitment-phobe, so the fact that I even signed up for this is pretty crazy.

I’m proud of myself for sticking with it. I have an unfortunate history of quitting things when they’ve become too hard. This training has been HARD. Really hard. Like, for the first month and a half I asked myself daily what I was doing to myself. I second-guessed myself at every group run when I was walking while others were running; when I was left so far behind the group that I became a search and rescue mission; when I felt like I was going to die with every single step of every single run, and I couldn’t wait to stop running from the moment I started. But I never gave up. I kept fighting, kept training, and for that, I’m proud.

I’m proud that in some sort of crazy way, I’ve managed to inspire others. As I sat on my couch night after night doing absolutely nothing remotely close to exercise back in April, I could have never imagined that I would be inspiring others to run, but somehow, I have! Do you have any idea how cool that is? I still can’t wrap my head around it!

I’m proud to be a positive role model for my son. He no longer sees an overweight mom who has no energy and no interest in exercise. He sees a much more fit mom who heads out for runs in the mornings and in the evenings. He waves to me as I run down the street and tells me all the time that he wants to run with me when he gets big (he also tells me he’s going to have coffee and soda when he gets big, too, so I guess I have a few more vices to give up to further enhance that ‘good role model’ status!).

I’m proud to be a part of my Team in Training group. What an amazing group of people. It sounds cheesy, but this group has completely changed my life. Four months ago, I couldn’t run a mile, and today I ran 10. Next week I’ll run 11. And in less than a month, I’ll be running 13.1 miles in my half marathon. And better yet – I’m ready for it and feel confident that not only will I finish, but I will finish strong. I never thought I’d be at this level when I signed up for this. I just never believed I would actually be able to do this. My whole hope was to finish the race without needing an ambulance escort! Now not only do I know I’ll finish strong, but I can’t wait to do it!

Thanks to Team in Training, I’m a runner now, and I don’t ever see that ending. I have plans to continue running, continue training, run more ½ marathons, and even train for a full marathon next year. I have plans to continue being an active participant of Team in Training for as long as my legs will let me run. Thank you, Team in Training – you’ve truly changed my life.

Oh, and as a total side note, if anyone wears Brooks Adrenaline GTS 9s, and you’re concerned about switching to the new version, the Brooks Adrenaline GTS 10s, DON’T BE! They’re pure fabulousness (if that was even a word) on your feet!

Keep on running!

Hitting Goals / Trusting the Training

First, I apologize for being MIA for a while. Between work being overly insane, planning a crazy little 3 year old’s birthday party, and trying to find time to log lots of long miles, I’ve really been slacking when it comes to keeping the blog alive and moving. I’ve started about 7 different posts, but just never got around to finishing them.

But it’s just time to get back on the blogging track, so let’s get this party restarted!

OK then. So now that the formalities are out of the way, I need to just brag really quick. I need to brag because I’m hitting CRAZY goals I never imagined hitting in my lifetime right now. I’m seriously amazed at the things my body is letting me do these days.

Case in point – this past Saturday, I ran NINE miles. Seriously. Not seven, not eight, but NINE miles! Nine miles run with no ambulance escort needed – I couldn’t have DREAMED about something so far fetched just a couple short months ago. And what was even crazier than the mileage I covered was that I wasn’t even the slowest person there! Bonus!

There were two other girls that I started out running with. Not uncommon – I often start with a few other people, but then they pick up speed and leave me chugging along at the back of the pack by myself. That’s the norm, and I’m just used to it at this point. Well, this week I kept thinking they must just both be having really slow runs themselves, because they continued running with me the entire time. That never happens, but heck, I wasn’t going to question it. I quite enjoyed the company for a change. I was secretly thankful for whatever was making my running partners all sluggish because it was working out quite nicely for me. It wasn’t until I finished the run and checked my average pace that I realized they weren’t running slowly – I was actually running pretty quickly! OK, well, I wasn’t exactly winning any speed records or anything, but my pace was only a little over an 11 minute mile – and that was the average for NINE miles. That’s completely crazy for me! And the time flew by with people to talk to. Much more fun than running alone all the time. Hope I get lucky with a run like that again this coming week!

Anyway, this all brings me to the moral of my post this week – trusting the training. When I started this journey, I really didn’t think there was any way I’d be able to actually meet this crazy goal. I mean, I signed up for it and I was going to try my hardest, but I never honestly thought I’d be physically able to RUN a ½ marathon. Maybe I’d walk a lot of it and run some of it, but running the entire thing just seemed like a crazy fantasy in the “what in the world was I thinking signing up for this?” sort of way. Everyone from the coaches, to the mentors, to the others in the running group told me over and over to just “trust the training” and I’d get there.

Sure…Have you people SEEN me run?

I would nod and smile politely, then roll my eyes when they weren’t looking. I mean really – I appreciated them humoring me, but I was quite sure there was no way I was going to get there, no matter how fabulous this supposed training plan was.

But I followed the plan. I followed it closely. Except for the days I was out recently with the knee injury, I’ve never missed a single training day since I started this program. I’ve run mornings and nights, in crazy heat and in pouring rain. There were days I came short of the goal mileage for some reason, and days I went well over the goal. I just ran. A lot. And I did my very best to follow the training plan. I wanted to trust the plan, but I just couldn’t imagine it would actually end up working.

Not for me, the total non-runner.

But then, one random Thursday, it just clicked. All the training. All the conditioning. All the hard work just clicked one day, and I was running. I was REALLY running! I was running 4 miles, then 5 miles. I was running 6 miles and 7 miles. I ran 9 miles this past weekend – and the kicker – the 9 miles wasn’t even THAT hard!

Crazy!

I followed the training plan and I’ve become a runner. A real runner. I now trust the training completely and in trusting the training I find myself amazed on a weekly basis at what my body is able to do, the distances I’m able to cover, and the fact that I’m actually having FUN doing it!

I’ve sure come a long way from the couch potato I was back in April. And I can guarantee that I will never go back to the person I was before. I’m a runner now. And call me crazy, but I intend to stay a runner for a long, long time.

So to wrap things up, allow me to first share a picture from our group run this week taken just prior to heading out for our hilly 9 miles.



It was a smaller group than usual, but just a great bunch of people, all running for an amazing cause. I’m in the purple shirt with the white visor on the left. Not the best picture, and MAN I could use a tan! But you can at least see that I really do exist and really do go out on these crazy runs I speak of each week

And last, but not least, allow me to close the post by sharing a few things that have come out of my mouth in recent days. Things I NEVER thought anyone would ever hear me say:

“Sweet! I only have a short 3 mile run tonight.”

“I don’t really get into my groove until 2.5 – 3 miles.”

“The first 7 miles of that run were a piece of cake.”

“I’m actually starting to enjoy running more WITHOUT my music than with my music.”

“I ran 9 miles!” (or 8 miles, or 7 miles, or 6 miles, or 5 miles, or 4 miles – 3 miles I actually thought I might hit someday…)

“Set the alarm for 4:45 am so I can run 5.5 miles tomorrow before work.”

“I can’t wait to go running!”

“I can’t wait for the 10 mile run!”

And the scariest of all…

“Maybe I’ll train for a full marathon next year!”

Keep on running,

Goal: 5.5 miles – Reality: 3.22 miles / “Listen to your body”

“Listen to your body.” A popular phrase that seems to surround me these days.

A popular phrase I’ve heard about a million times in the past month from some pretty knowledgeable people – my doctor, my coach, my friends who are experienced runners.

A phrase that makes wonderful sense – I mean you SHOULD listen to your body, right? Why wouldn’t you? Seems like a no-brainer, doesn’t it?

Well, as most things in life, sometimes those things that make the most perfect sense are the hardest things to actually do.

I’m trying, though. I’m really making a concerted effort to listen to my body and not push my knee farther than I should. It’s not as easy as you would think it should be because I have constant thoughts of, “I can’t miss anymore training. I have to build back up on my miles. I can’t slack even for a second for the rest of my runs!” running through my head.

But I have to stop thinking that way. I have to just listen to my body. Even when I don’t necessarily like what my body has to say.

Like tonight. Tonight my body told me to cut my run short.

My knee felt good after Monday’s short 3.5 mile run. My knee was a little achy after Tuesday’s longer 5.5 mile run. Tonight my knee waved the white flag and surrendered after some of the crazy hills around the 2 mile mark, and it was getting really painful toward the 3 mile mark. I hated to stop because I’m already behind on my mileage thanks to the 2 weeks of training I missed from the initial injury. But tonight I honestly wasn’t all that worried about the miles. I was much more afraid of reinjuring things and not being able to train again for a while. So I listened to my body and cut tonight’s mileage short in order to be as ready and healed as possible for my 8 mile run on Saturday.

My coach was strangely proud. He has been watching me closely in training, just waiting for me to dive back in before I really should. He was happy to see me actually listening to my body and not trying to push through tonight. He was also quick to remind me that by listening to my body and stopping short tonight, I wouldn’t have to listen the ever dreaded “told you so!” from him after pushing myself harder than he would have liked. Yeah, yeah, thanks Coach. You win this one. For now…

So tonight wasn’t the best run, but there’s always Saturday. I may not be able to run the full 8 miles without walking, or I might survive running the whole thing but it might be slower than my usual snail’s pace, but I’ll do my best, listen to my body, and hopefully my knee will hang in there with me.

Keep on running,

There Should be Awards for Last Place

Have you ever played in a golf tournament? The winning team always gets a prize, of course, but the last place team always gets something, too. It’s kind of like a nice way to humor them for even showing up that day and making the attempt at the sport.  I feel that it’s only right that running should take a lesson in awarding prizes from the world of golf tournaments, and that it would only be right for the last place runner in any running event to win a prize as well.

Because, well, let’s face it – I would pretty much always win.

I’ve really learned to embrace my slowness over the past couple months.  I didn’t come into the acceptance phase easily, but I got there. And I remind myself each week that running alone at the back of the pack is making me a very independent runner with an impressive skill for reading the coach’s horribly written (and usually at least slightly incorrect) directions. Being the slow runner on my team is just who I am. Finishing my team training runs last in the group is just what I do.  And I do it well.

Maybe a little too well.

Last Saturday, my last place finish was just all out impressive. We had an All-Team Picnic with Team in Training, so all the running, cycling, walking, hiking, and triathlon teams from the Harrisburg, Lancaster and York areas all met to train together in the morning, then enjoy a picnic after training.
There were over 70 people there total, and in the group were three different running teams. Out of the three different running teams, I STILL managed to be the very last person to finish the training run!

Now tell me that’s not just beyond impressive.

I mean, to finish last in my own group is expected, but when every single runner out of three teams finishes before you, well, that just takes last place to a whole new level. Really, there should be some sort of award for that.

Ok, now granted, the coach wouldn’t let me run the entire thing because I’m still coming back from my knee injury – and he wasn’t letting me out of his sight for fear I’d cheat and run more than I should, so I had to walk about half of the mileage, which obviously didn’t help my last place cause.

And granted it was also on the hottest day of the year so far. One weather station had the heat index at 109 on Saturday, and it was easily over 100 by the time our run ended. We were all roasting as we ran! And granted, the two people out of the entire group who were truly slower than I was both ended up feeling awful from the excessive heat and were picked up by a staff member in a lovely air conditioned car and taken off the course, leaving me alone at the back of the pack once again with the coach.

At least it’s a familiar place for me – the back of the pack, that is. Now where’s my prize?

Oh well. The good news is that despite my walk/run combo training on Saturday, I survived the 8 miles in the 100+ degree heat, and my knee seems to be healing nicely. It’s still not 100%, but it’s very close. I’m even back to fully running this week, though I’m still taking it very slowly as I work my mileage back up.

And on a really cool note – look at all these people who came out to train on Saturday. Every single person here is running to to find a cure for blood cancers. Every person here is training like crazy and raising thousands of dollars for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. What an amazing group of people supporting an amazing cause. I’m so proud to be part of this team!



So I’m officially back out and running this week and just trying not to push too hard. I survived 3.5 miles yesterday and 5.5 miles today. It was definitely harder than it should have been (note to self – when you map out a new run, make sure the last mile of a 5.5 mile run isn’t straight uphill), but after almost 2 full weeks of not running, really, I shouldn’t be surprised that I lost a little in my training.

Fortunately, it doesn’t seem that I’ve fallen too far backwards in my training. I just have to force myself to keep the pace a bit on the slower side for at least a few more runs until the knee is 100% healed so I build back up gradually and don’t reinjure it at the same time. It’s all good, though. I’m just happy to be back out and running again!

Ha! Never in a million years did I think those words would come from me!

Taking a nice rest day tomorrow to ease my aching muscles (amazing how much your muscles hurt again after just a short time off!), but I’ll be back for another 5.5 miles on Thursday.

Keep on running,

Goal: Anything even remotely resembling running! – Reality: 3.1 miles of speedy movement / I’m BAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Well, sort of.

My knee is finally on the mend, and I’m back to training. Sure, it’s not exactly the level of training I’m scheduled to be doing right now, and yes, my life still involves a very close relationship with my ice pack, but hey – I’m out on the road, and I’m moving again, so that’s a darn good start in my book.

My coach’s hope is that I’ll be back to fully running by this time next week. My hope is overestimating my recovery time and I’ll be back to running before then.

I headed out for the team run today because my coach wanted to talk to me more about the specifics of my knee injury and see if we could come up with a good game plan on modifying my training to keep me at a good physical level until I can fully run again. Technically I should have been running 5 miles today, but instead I did what was kind a cross between a REALLY speedy walk combined with a REALLY pathetic jog. But hey – either way, I was moving, I was moving quickly, and it felt FABULOUS!

The knee really didn’t bother me much at all during the hilly 3 mile adventure today. I would feel it a little on some of the downhills, but overall nothing bad at all! This is a big improvement over even yesterday, so things are definitely on the right track again.

Sure, I won’t be able to run my 8 mile scheduled run on Saturday, but maybe I can do my combo speed walk/pathetic jog for, I don’t know, 5 of the 8 miles? Sure! That seems possible. Not ideal, but I’ll be happy with it at this point. In the meantime I’ll be seeing a whole heck of a lot of fast walking, biking, and elliptical training until I’m fully recovered – which quite frankly sounds a heck of a lot more exhausting to me than my usual training. Makes me hope for that fast recovery even more.

I’m just beyond happy that I survived 3 miles tonight without pain – even if it wasn’t a true run. This is definitely encouraging! Hopefully the training momentum continues from here so I’m back to where I need to be in no time. Gotta keep the faith!

Keep on running,

Goal: 6 miles – Reality: 0 miles / Still On the Mend – Trying Not to Panic

I should have had a 6 mile team run this morning. Instead, I was home with the ice pack on my knee yet again today. Adding another ZERO miles to my running log. And trying not to panic about it.
This has been a really hard week for me – physically and emotionally. Physically, I’ve been hobbling on my insanely sore knee all week. Emotionally, I’ve been close to tears all week, worried that my non-healing knee injury is something much worse than I had been thinking it was.

I’ve never had to miss a single day since my official training for the 1/2 marathon started. I’ve had aches and pains along the way – that’s only natural. But I’ve never been sidelined like I am right now due to my knee injury. If I could run through the pain, I would. But I can’t! It’s physically impossible as my knee just buckles from the intense pain when I try to put that kind of pressure on it. Not good. Not good at all. I have worked so hard at this training. I have come so far! The thought that I might have to stop training right now just makes my heart hurt.

As of last night I was very much in panic mode, certain I would have to pull out of the Philly 1/2 marathon and transfer my current fundraising money to one of the winter Team in Training races instead. After a full week of no physical exertion on my knee (other than normal walking, of course), my knee was still no better yesterday than it was last Monday. Fortunately today it does seem to maybe feel a tiny bit better, so maybe we are making progress. Maybe.

One of my friends told me she read in one of her running magazines that it takes 3 weeks of not running to lose the level at which you were at when you stopped. I have no idea if that’s true or not, but right now I’m holding onto the hope that it really is. Because I’m terrified that this knee isn’t getting better. I’m terrified that I’ll have to stop training because of this stupid treadmill-induced injury. I’m panicking at the mere thought of how much ability I’ve lost due to this setback.

I did set an appointment with a specialty sports medicine orthopedics doctor on Tuesday just in case this is something more serious than a simple strain. I’m crossing all my fingers and toes that I’ll be given the green light to continue on after maybe another week off, but we’ll have to just wait and see at this point.

If you could keep sending any knee-healing vibes in my general direction, they would be MORE than appreciated. I’ll keep you posted on the medical verdict after my Tuesday appointment.

And in the meantime I’ll keep reminding myself that Disney World in January isn’t a bad alternate race location (Team in Training is offering the Disney Marathon as one of the winter events) if I have to change race efforts due to the injury.

Really hoping that won’t be the case, though. I have really been looking forward to heading back toward my hometown for the Philly 1/2 Marathon. Still holding onto that hope and trying hard not to panic more about the injury and what it will mean to my training. I guess only time (and the doctor on Tuesday) will tell.

Keep on running,

I’m Broken!

OK, well that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but if you’re looking for some training updates, you’re going to be waiting at least one more day. I’m still sitting here with my trusty ice pack on my very sore knee thanks to the evil of the hamster wheel (aka treadmill of torture).

I strained something in my left knee while running on the treadmill of torture Thursday, and while it was sore, but not incapacitating by any means, Saturday’s 7 mile run pushed the injury over the edge.  Since just walking without pain has been impossible since post-run Saturday, I’ve been forced to slow down the last two days and try to let the messed up knee heal a bit.

The good news is that while the knee still isn’t good, it’s definitely better. I’m feeling cautiously optimistic that I’ll be able to get tonight’s scheduled mileage, or at least most of it, made up tomorrow night after a little more ice and rest (and maybe a little ice cream. I mean, ice cream has healing properties, right? Especially the chocolate peanut butter kind!).

I haven’t missed a single training day since I started this thing, so I’m really not a happy camper missing the last two days! If you’re reading now, you’ve probably been following my journey and might feel a bit of the concern I’m feeling over my loss of training days. I mean, let’s be honest here – I’m really no good at this running thing yet! I certainly don’t have training time to lose. I need every single training mile I can get! I have no time to miss mileage. I barely survive the long runs when I’m training exactly as I’m supposed to be – missing days and miles just can’t bode well for my upcoming Saturday run!

Oh well, better to heal now than lose more critical days later, right? Well, that’s what I’m trying to convince myself of at least. Maybe if I repeat it to myself a few more times…

Anyway, it looks like my ice pack and I will have a little more bonding time together tonight, but hopefully tomorrow night I’ll have some solid (or quite possible some gimpy) miles to update about.

If you happen to have any magical ways of sending some healing vibes my way via cyberspace, would you do that for me, please? No need to send ice cream – I have that all taken care of already!

Keep on running,

Goal: 7 miles – Reality: 7.09 miles / Soggy and Sore (but Survived!)

Woke up yesterday morning and immediately looked outside. Everything was wet. Very wet. But I couldn’t quite tell just how badly it was still raining. I looked on my phone to check the current weather – 72 degrees and heavy rain. How lovely! I checked my email to make sure the coach hadn’t cancelled our morning run due to any thunderstorms heading our way. No emails had arrived. Looked like we were heading out to get very wet! Honestly, I wasn’t upset at all about the rain. I had been so miserable not being able to do my runs outside all week due to the crazy heat that I was just thrilled to be getting back out on the road – even if that meant I’d be soaked to the core in the process. And believe me, “soaked to the core” didn’t even come close to describing it in the end.

Surprisingly, a good number of people came out in the pouring rain for the Team in Training group run yesterday. It was pretty inspiring! We had 7 miles on the agenda, and I assumed that meant we’d be running closer to 8 miles since the coach ALWAYS maps our runs out to be much longer than they’re supposed to be.

We all headed out in the rain, and of course I immediately stepped straight into a giant puddle. Of course I did! There we were, not even ¼ mile into the run and my right foot was already squishing beneath me. I was really hoping this wasn’t an omen on how the rest of the run would go. About a mile into the run I noticed that the rain was just pouring over the rim of my visor – like my own personal waterfall in front of my eyes, just a lot less scenic than something like Niagara. The rain felt good, though. Surprisingly refreshing.

While running on the hamster wheel (aka the treadmill) on Thursday, I managed to strain something in my left knee. It didn’t start hurting until shortly after the run, and it wasn’t a terrible pain, so I thought I would be OK with the 7 miles on Saturday. Unfortunately, the pain was enough that it was bothering me with every step on Saturday’s run. It wasn’t unbearable pain, and it did get better after I warmed up a bit, but it never went away, and it definitely slowed me down a bit.

Fortunately, despite the pain, I survived the rain drenched 7 miles, running the entire route without a single walk break. And for once, the coach truly had us running 7 miles! I know it sounds crazy, but I found myself slightly disappointed that I didn’t get to run 8 yesterday. Yes, I realize how nuts that sounds and I realize I should probably have my head examined as well as my knee.

So here I sit with ice on my knee again for a 2^nd night (and with running shoes stuffed full of newspaper in an attempt to dry them out) debating how to handle this week’s runs. Hopefully I’ll wake tomorrow and the pain will be gone. I’m guessing that’s unlikely, though, so I’m debating how to modify the training if necessary this week. I’m scheduled for 3 miles tomorrow, but if the pain remains too bad I may just have to give myself a day off tomorrow and jump right into Tuesday’s 4.5 miles if I can. Or maybe just try to do 2 slow, easy miles instead of nothing at all. Or maybe just 1 mile would be better than nothing. But I don’t want to hurt it worse and be out later in the week when the mileage missed is even higher. Ugh, I don’t know. I hate this. I hate that the stupid treadmill has put a kink in my training. I hate that I’m injured at all right now. I hate that I have to even think about modifying my training schedule this week. I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes. Somehow, someway I’ll be back out on the road this week. Just hoping I’m out there pain free (and preferably with dry shoes)!

Keep on running!

Goal: 5 miles – Reality: 5.02 miles / Running on a Hamster Wheel

I want to start by giving a public apology to my deceased hamster, Footy Face (don’t ask about the name. It was college – I was most certainly drunk when I named him) for all the fancy exercise wheels I put in his cage throughout his lifetime. Metal ones, plastic ones, big ones, little ones. Poor little guy. I thought he was having fun running on them. I thought I was doing him a favor by giving him these great wheels to play on. Now I have to wonder if he cursed me like I curse the creator of the treadmill. He spent a whole lot of his little hamster life just running and running, but going nowhere. Poor little Footy Face. Sorry little buddy.

I mean, who (man, woman, or hamster) really wants to run in place for hours on end? Not me!
I had every intention of getting up before the sun to get my run done outside today. Too bad I somehow managed to set the alarm for an hour too late this morning, so when the radio started blaring at 5:45 am instead of 4:45 am I had a few choice words for the alarm as well as the treadmill that was now unfortunately in my future.

As the temp went down this evening (from 95 to 90 to a balmy 89 degrees), I seriously debated if it would really be THAT awful running outside tonight.  I mean, yeah it would suck, but would it really suck that much more than tripping my way through 5 miles on the treadmill? Because I couldn’t cut the run short tonight. I couldn’t! As much as it was going to suck, I had to commit to the full 5 miles since I crapped out early on my Tuesday run. Really, maybe 89 degrees wouldn’t be THAT awful. With the heat from the blacktop it would only feel like, what 109 degrees?

Yeah, I came to my senses and went to the gym.

Fortunately the TV options were a little better tonight, and 2 episodes of Community later, the run was over. Sure, I stumbled over my own two feet a good 5 times, but fortunately my face never came quite as close to hitting the screen of the treadmill as it did multiple times on Tuesday. So I guess if you have to find a bright spot to my running performance tonight – there’s one for you.  The first 2.5 miles weren’t too bad, but the second 2.5 miles seemed to drag on FOREVER. I was sure the mileage tracker had to be broken. “Hello! Is this thing on?” It seemed to be moving SO SLOWLY!

But in the end, I survived running on my hamster wheel without injury today.

Go me!

And fortunately Saturday’s forecast is looking much cooler, so with any luck we won’t be melting for the Team in Training group run in the morning. I’m just looking forward to getting back out on the road again. The run Saturday is scheduled for 7 miles, so by the coach’s mapping (that’s always WAY longer than it should be), I’m guessing we’ll see closer to 8 miles. I just hope they’re 8 good miles. I’ve had enough lousy runs this week. I’m ready to get off the hamster wheel and to have some fun again!

Keep on running!

Goal: 5 miles – Reality: 4.1 miles / Ego Check

Is there like some sort of crazy law of running that dictates that all things have to even out in the running world? Is there some rule that if you have two great runs you must then follow it up with two craptastic ones? Because that’s where I am this week.

Lucky me!

It’s like just when you start to think you might actually have this running thing figured out, the running gods come in and smack you right back into the reality that you have no clue what you’re truly doing running like this!

Thanks for the ego check, running gods. Wouldn’t want me getting all “Ooh, I’m a runner now!” would we? Silly me.

Let’s start with Monday. Oh, Monday. What a lovely run. It was a balmy 96+ degrees (which was even more pleasant while running along the blacktop of the streets, feeling the heat rise from below, too). But I only had to run 2 miles. I mean, how hard would that be, right?

Riiiiight…

It sucked. Big time! I ran 7 miles without stopping on Saturday and felt on top of the world, but I walked briefly at one point in my 2 mile run yesterday. Seriously – I had to walk? What in the world? Talk about running being a mental game. Let’s see what went through my head as I ran yesterday:

“It’s SO freaking HOT out here!”

“Who runs in this weather?”

“I should have waited until later to run.”

“I should have chugged more water today.”

“I should have run at the gym on the treadmill instead.”

“I need to stop and walk”

(to which I stopped and walked for a minute, only to think…)

“I have to run – the quicker I get home, the quicker I get out of this insane heat!”

(to which I started running again only to think…)

“Dear GOD I’m going to die out here on a lousy 2 mile run!”

Then I came home and threw myself into my child’s sprinkler in the back yard. Ahhh, the sweet relief of freezing cold hose water!

Oh, and I’d like to give a special shout out to the man who yelled out from his porch, “Is it hot enough out here for you?” as I passed by his house. Yeah, buddy. It was. It really was hot enough. Thanks.

Fast forward to tonight’s run. It was over 100 degrees out there today. Now I might be crazy, but I’m not insane enough to try a 5 mile run in heat like that. You can’t even breathe out there to walk to the car, let alone to run!

My options for today were to either get up at 4:45 am to get my run in before work, or to hit the treadmill at the gym after putting my son to bed. I decided the treadmill would be my best bet. I was wrong. Let me just say that if I have the same options in front of me for my Thursday run, I can guarantee I’ll be getting out of bed to run before the sun comes up.

How do you people run on a treadmill?

I’m seriously treadmill challenged. I mean, running on a treadmill is boring to start with, let alone running any long distances. I knew 5 miles would be beyond boring, but I hoped maybe I’d find a good show on TV to tune into while I ran. Not so much. I’m sorry, but when 2 hours of Hell’s Kitchen was the best option of the six different channels available, I knew I was in for a painful run, despite the air conditioned locale.

Beyond the boredom factor, let’s talk about the elephant factor. That would be what anyone around me would likely say I sound like on a treadmill – a big old clumsy elephant. I feel like my feet are just flopping around – THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD – the whole time. I’m all uncoordinated on the treadmill for some reason I don’t quite understand. Granted, I’ll be the first to admit I’m not very coordinated when it comes to basic physical movement in general, and I’ve been known to take a fall here or there even running outside (see my first ever post here!). But the treadmill is a whole new level of clumsy for me.

I counted 7 stumbles that resulted in me grabbing onto the treadmill handles just seconds before falling face first into the machine tonight. Yes, you read that right. I tripped 7 times over absolutely NOTHING – 5 of which were in the first 2.5 miles. Are you kidding me? Who is that uncoordinated?
Oh, right. That would be me.

So there I ran, thumping my feet along, paranoid about falling on my face, trying not to make eye contact with anyone (as I was quite certain I was making the people around me nervous as they watched me, hoping they wouldn’t have to be the ones to call 911 when I finally fell off the darn thing for good), and bored to tears. At 2.5 miles I realized my left foot was numb. Guess I tied that shoe a little too tight. Fabulous! Because I was already having so much fun as it was. A numb foot just topped off the night. I stopped, fixed the shoe, and never turned my mileage tracker back on. Of course I didn’t realize this until the end of the run, so I turned it back on for like the last quarter mile – like it even mattered at that point? Why did I even bother? Oh, and I didn’t even make my 5 mile goal. I just gave up. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Once again, it was the mental game that beat me tonight. Physically I could have done 5 miles without issue, but when I tripped that 7th time and missed hitting my face on the screen of the treadmill by mere inches, I threw in the towel and called it a night at only 4.1 miles. I was irritated, embarrassed, bored, and trying to leave with my face still in one piece.

So I guess the lesson learned here is that for all the highs felt in running, there are going to continue to be an awful lot of lows along the way. Just when you get confident in what you’re doing, something will bring you back down to the reality of how hard this all really is to conquer. I guess it just all evens out as you go along. And conquering those lows is what will get me back out there on the next run.

Let’s just hope those running gods are in agreement that I’m due for some highs to come back around for the rest of the week’s runs – especially Saturday’s long one!

Keep on running!

Goal: 6 miles – Reality: 7.01 miles / Having FUN!

I still can’t believe I’m saying this (or typing it, I guess, is more accurate). I still can’t believe it’s even true.

I ran 7 miles today and I had FUN doing it!

I was supposed to have a 6 mile group run with the Team in Training group this morning, but as usual, the run was mapped longer than 6 miles (I’m on to you, coaches!). Anyway, it ended up being almost exactly 7 miles. I remember the day I signed up for Team in Training and got my training schedule. I remember my stomach tying itself in knots as I looked at the increasing mileage for the Saturday long runs. I specifically remember looking at this week’s scheduled 6 mile run with a heavy heart, seriously second guessing what I had signed myself up for. I never thought I would be able to do it. It might as well have read 6,000 miles because 6 miles seemed equally unrealistic.

To be really honest, even as I signed my Team in Training registration form and paid my registration fee, I really didn’t have the faith in myself that I’d be able to accomplish the goal I was setting out to hit. I just couldn’t imagine how someone as out of shape as I was going into this would ever be able to run 13.1 miles with just a few short months of training.

I also have to admit that as committed as I’ve been to Team in Training and to the training schedule I’ve been following, I’ve second guessed my decision to train for this ½ marathon almost every single run for the past 2 months. With every long run on Saturdays, I would find myself dragging far behind everyone else, wondering how in the world I ever thought I would be able to complete 13.1 miles. Every single run had me thinking I had made a ridiculous mistake signing up to do this. I felt like such a fraud for making people believe I could accomplish this goal. A goal that would ulitmately end in me completely embarrassing myself when I couldn’t finish the ½ marathon because I sucked so bad at this running thing. I would envision myself giving up halfway through the actual event, walking the rest of the way with my head down, hoping no one I knew would see just badly I was doing, how miserably I was failing.

But something amazing happened this week. All the training, all the conditioning, all the miles I’ve struggled to run the past two months – it all came together for me this week. Everything finally started to click in my last two runs. I can do this. I can TOTALLY do this! Not once in the last two runs did I second guess the commitment I had made. Not once did I feel I would have to give up. Instead, I felt amazing. I felt strong! I felt confident. I felt like I could run forever. I felt excited at the idea of running 13.1 miles. And most important of all, I had FUN!

I ran the entire 7 mile run today. I didn’t walk ANY of it. Not at all! I didn’t even feel the slightest need to stop at all the entire time. And the kicker – it was a hilly freaking run! It was the first group run that we’ve had with some really tough hills, and I ran them all. Every single one!

And to top it all off, I ran my 7 miles today with a pace of 11’17″ which is amazing for me! My pace for the almost 6 mile run last Saturday was 11’43″ without hills, and I was thrilled with that one! I’m sure you can see why I’m in total shock at this week’s pace!

But the best part of it all is truly the fact that I had FUN again today! I didn’t at all care that I was one of the last people to come across the finish line today. I didn’t mind in the least that I didn’t have my iPod on and music pumping into my ears. None of it mattered today because I was just enjoying the whole experience today. I enjoyed the scenery as it went by me. I enjoyed the sounds of the world around me. I listened to my feet hitting the ground and the rhythm of my breathing. I waved to other runners and bikers, smiling as we passed each other. Never once did I think “Oh my God, is this over yet?” Not once! I ran strong today, and I had FUN doing it!

I never could have imagined I would be typing a post like this. I mean, just a few weeks ago I was a search and rescue mission when I couldn’t even run 3 miles without walking in my group run. Less than two months ago, I couldn’t even run 1 mile without stopping to walk. Today I ran 7 full miles, with hills even, and I honestly could have easily run further.

Today I accomplished something I never, ever, thought I could. And I had a heck of a lot of FUN doing it!

Keep on running!

Goal: 4.5 miles – Reality: 4.77 miles / This is Pretty Cool!

My family has been in town visiting, so I haven’t been keeping up with the blog much this week as I’ve been busy enjoying their visit! I apologize for slacking, but I’m baaaaaack! Go ahead. Get excited.

Monday’s 2 miles were easy enough. It was HOT, so I just enjoyed a nice easy run. Tuesday was a disappointing 4.5 mile day. I had the goal in mind, but I just I didn’t make it.  I only made it 3.75 miles. I just didn’t have it in me for some reason. I wasn’t necessarily exhausted. My legs were OK. I physically COULD have finished the run, but I just didn’t have the heart to finish on Tuesday for some reason (and the fact that it was 4:45 am when I woke up to do the run probably didn’t help the cause). Anyway, going into today’s run, I was still feeling exhausted, and I was worried I would let myself slack on my mileage again today.

But I didn’t. Instead, I had a great run! It’s amazing the difference the weather can make, by the way. Really amazing. Today was zero humidity and much cooler than it has been here for weeks. It was a beautiful night for a run, and I honestly enjoyed every second of my run tonight!

Did you just read that? Let me write it again for you.

I honestly enjoyed every second of my run tonight!

Wait…WHAT? Yeah, I said it. I enjoyed running tonight. Like really, truly enjoyed my entire time out on the road. Wow! That NEVER happens. That’s pretty cool.

I was right around 3 miles into the run when I realized just how much I was enjoying the run. I was smiling, waving to people I passed, bopping my head along to my favorite cheesy running songs on my iPod. It was great. Really great! And in that moment, I started to really think about how big a milestone this was for me. I mean to this point I’ve been someone who has been hitting the miles week after week, but someone who really hasn’t been enjoying the actual running all that much. Yeah, I’ve been doing it, and some days have definitely been better than others, but I haven’t exactly been “loving” the whole thing. I mean, feeling like you’re going to die every time you’re out on the road, really isn’t all that fun in general.

But tonight I didn’t feel like I was going to die. Not at all. Instead I really had fun out there on my run! It was pretty cool.

As my feet hit the road, step after step, instead of my legs jiggling underneath me, I took note of how tight they were with each step. I marveled in their new strength. It was pretty cool.

As I looked at my mileage tracker and noticed I had flown through 4.5 miles easily, I realized I wasn’t even breathing that hard. I had a lot of life left in my run tonight, had I wanted to go even longer. I wasn’t gasping for air. Not even a little bit. My lungs felt great! It was pretty cool.

As I walked in the door tonight after my run, I assessed my stats. 4.77 miles, feeling strong right through to the end. A pace of 11’46″ – a pretty darn good time in my world! Normally, I spend most of my runs just wishing they were over, praying for the end to come quickly. But not tonight! Tonight I actually wasn’t ready for the run to end and found myself feeling a little disappointed when I got home and the run was over. Huh, I was disappointed that I had to stop running – WOW! That’s pretty cool.

I left the house for my run tonight exhausted, just hoping I could somehow manage to drag myself through this full run without throwing in the towel, and somewhere along the way I became energized, confident, ready to take on the full run and more. Tonight I really felt like a runner.

Yeah, that was pretty cool.

Keep on running!

Goal: 5 miles – Reality: 5.94 miles / A Morning Filled with Surprises

I dread my group runs. Seriously. I lose sleep the night before because I stress about them so much. I just don’t like not being good at something, and running…well, I’m just not very good at it. I’m getting better – there’s no denying that – but I’m still pretty bad! I’m still the slowest person on the team and always the last to finish the runs, and while it shouldn’t bother me, it just does. I’m getting used to it, though, and I’m not terribly embarrassed by it anymore. Just mildly embarrassed now. I guess that’s progress, right?

I tried to get to bed at a relatively early time last night so the whole “lack of sleep” excuse wouldn’t be there to fall back on this morning in my run. Unfortunately I started to stress about how much today’s group run would suck, and I ended up tossing and turning in bed for hours on end. Awesome! Of course, at that point, I only stressed further about the fact that now I was definitely not getting enough sleep so my morning run was going to suck even MORE than it would normally as I would be completely exhausted…which in turn led me to stress more and lose even more sleep. Such a vicious cycle.

I don’t even know what time I finally fell asleep last night, but when the alarm went off early this morning, I felt terribly tired. No time to complain – it’s time to get my weekly humiliation over with!
I throw on my running clothes, grab a rather nasty tasting Power Bar (I definitely don’t recommend the Cookies and Cream flavor – highly recommend the Chocolate Peanut Butter, though!) and a glass of orange juice and I head out to meet the team.

Five miles. I should be able to do five miles. I ran four miles easily this past week, so what’s one more mile, right? The more I tell myself that, the more I’m hoping I’ll believe it. I repeat this mantra to myself the entire 15 minute ride in the car.

By the time I get to the run location, I’m almost believing I have a shot at this. Hmmm…the mantra is working. Interesting.

The rest of the group arrives, and we take off on the run. I start at the back so no one has to worry about weaving around me as they pass me by, and I make a concerted effort to start off nice and slow. I have a problem with starting too fast and burning out too quickly when I run with the group – I promised myself I wouldn’t do that today. Slow and steady – that’s my plan for today’s run.

Slow and steady…slow and steady… I listen to my breathing, two breaths in, two breaths out, two breaths in, two breaths out – breathing in sync with my steps. Everything feels good. Surprisingly good. We get to the first water break, right at the 2.5 mile mark – right when I start hitting my stride. It’s HOT. It’s HUMID. I know my body needs the water, so I stop for a quick drink and get right back out on the road. The next mile is tough, but not terrible. Surprisingly not terrible. Then I get my stride back. My breathing evens out. My legs feel strong. I breathe to the beat of my stride. We head toward 4 miles, then 4.5. I’m still running strong. I haven’t even thought about stopping to walk. Surprisingly, I’m still feeling strong.

And at that very moment, for the first time since I started this process, I’m not thinking that I was insane to have taken on this challenge. For the first time since training with this group, I feel confident – not crazy. I feel strong. I smile to myself. I’m TOTALLY going to kick this ½ marathon’s butt!

With that wave of confidence, I fly through 5 miles (isn’t this where we’re supposed to be stopping? Why do the coaches always map out our runs LONGER than they should be? I’m on to you, coaches. I’m on to you and your sneaky ways!) and I still feel good. Surprisingly good.

I head into the home stretch and of course see the rest of the training team already relaxing at the finish, water and Gatorade in their hands. Normally the embarrassment of being last – again – would creep in at this point. But today it doesn’t – not even a little bit. Today I smile as I see the finish line in the distance. Now, I’m not going to lie – I’m pretty sure I might die at this point, but I’ve come this far, I’m NOT stopping now, not this close to the finish.  I cross the finish line, still smiling about my run. I look at my tracker to see my mileage. I just ran almost SIX full miles without a single walking break. That’s pretty freaking awesome! I check my pace, expecting a 13 minute mile or so. My pace was 11’43”. Are you KIDDING me? I check it again to make sure I’m not delusional from the heat. I get the same reading. My smile gets even bigger.

Surprisingly, I couldn’t care less that I’m dead last again today as I cross the finish line. I just had the best run of my life. I can’t wait to conquer my 6 mile group run next Saturday. And I really can’t wait to conquer my 13.1 mile ½ marathon in September!

Something tells me I’ll sleep surprisingly well next Friday night before the next group run.

Keep on running!

Goal: 4 miles – Reality: 4.17 miles / Light Bulb Moment!

The little light bulb went off over my head today during my early morning run. There’s a lot of time to think when you’re out running before most people roll out of bed, and today I was starting to think about (or maybe I should say dread) my upcoming group run on Saturday. Man, they always suck. Always. I always struggle with them. Even if I’ve run the same mileage at home 10 times, I get to the group run and the same mileage crushes me, leaving me feeling like an idiot for even thinking I could do this.

Why? Why are the group runs so hard for me?

Light Bulb Moment!

Out of nowhere, at 2.75 miles into my morning run today, it hit me – it was so obvious! I had just pushed through that feeling of “wow I have a long way to go still – how will I ever make it?” My feet were finally starting to get in sync. My breathing was finally steady. My legs felt strong, and there was no doubt in my mind that I would finish the 4 mile run easily. And in that moment – that moment of running clarity – the light bulb lit brilliantly above my head. How had I missed it until now?

To this point I’ve been blaming my group run struggles on LOTS of things:

1. No earphones during the group runs (I’m still holding to this one – I need my cheesy music beating in my ears!).
2. Poor pre-run diet (I’ve gotten much better with this, I’m happy to report).
3. Mental struggles with being the slowest and most inexperienced runner in the group (a continuing struggle).

And yes, all of those things are valid factors, but the biggest thing – the one thing killing me more than any other – was the one thing I wasn’t even remotely considering.

Water breaks are killing me.

Seriously – water breaks! Go figure. I’m struggling in my group runs because of the water breaks we take.

I know this sounds completely crazy, but follow my logic…

See, when I run on my own, it takes me until about 2.5 miles until I really feel myself fall into my groove – that point where I push past the initial exhaustion, my feet stop feeling like uncoordinated cement blocks, and I find the place where I feel like I’m in control of the run. My legs are strong. My lungs are strong. My pace evens out. Everything starts working in sync – and then I just keep moving forward. When I run on my own, I just run. I don’t stop for water breaks. I haven’t really felt the need to stop yet as my mileage hasn’t gone more than 5 miles during my solo runs. So my body, legs, lungs, heart, mind – all stay focused in the constant motion of the run. But this only happens once I get past that 2.5 mile mark.

Still following me? Good!

Now, during my group runs each week, we stop for periodic water breaks. Seems harmless enough. I know I’m always excited to see the water breaks because I’m always ready to die by the time I get to them. Well DUH! Do you know why I’m dying when I get to them? Do you know where they put these water breaks? They put them somewhere between every 2-3 miles, depending on the length of the run. EXACTLY at the point in my runs where my body goes from exhausted to exhilarated. Now instead of pushing through the early run pain, I’m instead shutting down to break for water – right at that critical point in the run! So now when I start up again, even after that very short break, I’ve lost my momentum. I’ve lost my strength, my stride, my confidence in the run. Now I’m starting over when I start running again, and I’m starting over at that exhaustion point I never pushed through. I never seem to hit my stride again. I never seem to be able to push through that critical point in my run once I stop moving. And if I manage to get back to that point again in the next leg of the run, it’s just as we’re coming to another water break. And the cycle of struggle begins again.

Freaking water breaks! Who would have thought?

OK, so now what do I do? Do I not stop for water breaks? EVERYONE on the group runs stops for water breaks. I can’t just not stop – they’ll think I’ve completely lost my marbles if I go running past everyone. Heck, it’s like 90+ degrees out there during our Saturday runs. We need to be stopping for water breaks. I get that. You can see my dilemma here…

So how do I work around this?

What wonderful lessons will Saturday’s run bring after today’s light bulb moment? Only time will tell, I suppose.

Keep on running!

Goal: 4 miles – Reality: 4.33 miles / The Art of Compromise (aka Doing it My Way)

I went into my run tonight with a plan for compromise. I was going to compromise on my training plan this week. Tonight I would run my 4 miles my way, but Thursday I would compromise and do it the coach’s way. I would run the same route, and the same 4 miles, but with the coach’s instruction of adding walk breaks every 10 minutes. Then I could compare the two runs to see how the pace, time, etc, all compared. It made sense. It was a good plan.

But there was one glaring problem with my plan. I’m not very good at compromise.

See, I’m just not very good at doing things “their” way. Who are “they” anyway? OK, sometimes they’re experts in their areas of training (ahem, my coaches…) but still. I’m just not very good at listening to others when I think that my way is the best way. And I have to be honest – I very often think my way is the best way (just ask my poor husband).

I can’t help it. It’s the only child in me! I like things how I like them, when I like them, the way I like them. I like to do things my way – whatever way that may me. And in my mind, my way is usually the “right” way, even when it’s most likely, sometimes even most definitely, NOT “right.”

I spent most of my 4 mile run tonight pondering this very issue as I continued my internal debate about adding walk breaks into my training. Why can’t I just follow the coach’s instruction? Do I have some horribly self destructive side to me? Do I have some issue with authority that I have to rally against? I really don’t think so. I really don’t want to hurt myself at all, and most of the bosses I’ve worked for over the years would be quick to tell you I’m pretty easy to work with. So I really don’t think it’s an authority issue.

I just like doing things MY way.

I like running. I like training harder than ever before. I like the challenge of hitting miles I’ve never hit before. I like feeling confident when I beat a new personal best – running farther than ever before, running faster than ever before, crushing that hill that used to crush me. These are the small accomplishments that make me want to get out there and go farther and push faster again, setting new goals along the way. I’ve had a lot of challenges in life lately, many that have been completely out of my control. But this one – this challenge is one I can control. Conquering this goal is completely in my hands.

And I plan to conquer it MY way.

And right now, I want to run. I don’t want to walk when I don’t have to. If I’m gasping, cramping, on the verge of passing out, yes, I’ll walk. I’m not crazy. I don’t have a death wish. I just want to run, and I want to run hard. I ran the entire run tonight and it felt great. It felt strong. It felt better than ever before. I conquered 4 miles with relative ease tonight, in the blaring 90+ degree heat. I felt too good to stop and walk. So I ran. And I just kept running. And when Thursday’s run comes, I’m going to run again.

I’m going to run the 4 miles MY way.

Saturday’s run will be a more challenging 5 miles with the coach pushing me to train HIS way, so I really don’t know what Saturday will bring in my training or how I’ll run that day. But right now Saturday doesn’t matter. Today matters.

And today I am happy, because today I did it MY way.

Keep on running!

Goal: 2 miles – Reality 2.77 miles / 2 Mile Monday!

I have to say I love my 2 Mile Mondays in training. Every week throughout my training, Monday is a short 2 mile run. It’s fun, fast, and builds my confidence back up each week after my brutal ego-busting long runs each weekend.

Nothing terribly exciting to report today, but I’ll be back tomorrow with a full report on my 4 mile run in the morning. Off to sleep now. 5 am will come WAY too early tomorrow, as always.

Keep on running!

Saturday’s Goal: 6 miles – Saturday’s Reality: 6.02 miles / No “Cheating!”

OK, so I’m a few days late to post this, but this is the first time in 3 days I’ve been able to just sit and write. Sorry for the delay!

The big news – I SURVIVED! Yeah baby! I survived my 6 mile group run this past Saturday and didn’t even require a search and rescue party this time. Definitely an all around better run than last week’s 5 mile trek that had me lost in the woods.

Now while I find myself thrilled to have survived, and done so with a half decent pace, even. I find myself feeling like I “cheated” a little on my long run.

See, the coaches with Team in Training have apparently been researching various Run/Walk methods of training for people who have never run endurance races previously, and they’re looking into making this sort of training the new standard for all new runners. They want me and another beginner in our group to start trying this in our next few long runs. But I have these thoughts in the back of my head that I’m “cheating” if I take the required walk breaks. I don’t want to do it. But I should do it. But I don’t want to do it. You can see where this is headed.

If you’re not familiar with any of the the Run/Walk methods, they’re basically training plans that have you run for a certain amount of time, then recover with a short 1-2 minute walk, then run again, then take the next 1-2 minute recovery break – lather, rinse, repeat for the duration of the half marathon, marathon, whatever you’re running.  One of the most popular methods is Jeff Galloway’s Run-Walk-Run method. All the various methods boast the same basic benefits. For example, you supposedly get the same cardio benefits as running the entire time, but supposedly your overall pace is often either the same, or even slightly better overall, than if you ran the entire race. Seems strange, right? How can your pace actually be better when you add walk breaks throughout the race? Well, supposedly the recovery periods allow you to hit the running portions harder, so your pace ends up staying similar to what it would be if you ran the whole time, but you can apparently feel stronger for longer periods of time, so when the rest of the people who have been running the entire 13.1 or 26.2 miles start losing steam at the end, the people who are doing the run/walk method still have energy in reserve to push through the finish strong, often passing those struggling without walk breaks. It’s also supposed to significantly reduce injuries in beginner runners.

OK, it all makes sense, and sounds great, right? Why wouldn’t someone want to try this method? You’re SUPPOSED to walk. Sounds like a dream in training, doesn’t it? Heck, I’ve talked personally with people who swear the method took significant time off their marathon runs. Another friend (and an experienced runner herself who always recommends the Jeff Galloway method to beginners, by the way) tells me she knows people who do Iron Man competitions using the Run/Walk method, so that should tell me it’s not “cheating,” right? I mean Iron Man people are some TOUGH competitors!
My heart (and lungs as they gasp for breath) tell me “WALK STUPID! You’re being told you’re allowed to walk! DO IT for crying out loud!” But my heart says “You signed up to run this 1/2 marathon, not walk it – don’t “cheat” on your runs!” They’re not playing nice with each other, leaving me torn on what to do.

I know it’s dumb. Even most of the experienced runners I’ve met say they take walk breaks throughout the 1/2 and full marathons, even if it’s just walking through the water stations.  Are 1-2 minute walks every once in a while really all that different?

But I just FEEL like I’m “cheating.”

So I find myself in the midst of a heated internal debate on what to do next. I have a 4 mile run on Tuesday and I know I can run the distance without stopping, so I have a hard time forcing myself to stop for walk breaks.  But I should listen to the coach, right? I mean, he is the coach for a reason. I should put his new training to the test, trusting it to work, shouldn’t I? At least see how everything averages out when I train his way? This should be a DREAM in training – the coach WANTS me to take walk breaks. Hello? What’s wrong with me? Why am I not jumping at this opportunity?

I need to get over the whole “cheating” thing. There’s no shame in walking. I know there’s not. But my mind continues to battle my heart with where to go now. All I know is I want to get to the finish line. I want to finish strong. That’s what I know. What I don’t know is how, exactly, I’m going to make that happen.

So what happens next? Will I run 4 miles straight or try the Run/Walk method as it was suggested?

Guess we’ll see on Tuesday…

Keep on running!

Goal: 4.5 miles – Reality: 2.27 miles / Training FAIL!

Thanks to some serious stomach cramps that hit out of nowhere tonight at 1.5 miles, I had to cut tonight’s run WAY short.

I think today’s lesson worth sharing is most likely: No milkshakes the day of a run! I’m thinking too much dairy at lunch today may have been my key FAIL move of the day. So sad, too, because it sure was a delicious treat earlier in the day.

Oh well, moving on to Saturday. My group long run is for 6 miles on Saturday! It will be my farthest distance yet and I’m partially excited and partially terrified. Can I do it? Time will tell!

Hoping for a good run and no search and rescue missions this weekend. I’ll update after the run with all the gory details!

Keep on running!

Goal: 4.5 miles – Reality: 5.02 miles / Hazards of Running with the Coach

As planned, I left my pride in the hot car to sweat it out as I headed into my group run this evening. I’ll admit that I was dreading this run all day because I just didn’t feel like dealing with the blow to the ego that EVERY group run has been to date. Fortunately, my dedication (aka – stubbornness) far outweighs my fragile ego, so I continue to show up for the biweekly beatings of my pride.

Anyway, I get out of the car and of course (because really – like I shouldn’t have expected it) there were only 4 of us that showed up for the run – three very experienced runners and me. Awesome! Out for the run were two long-time distance runners (the kind that think a 10 mile run is a short one – I’m not the only one thinking that’s crazy, right?), the coach, and me.

Well, the two “pro” runners took off together and the coach was sweet enough to run (well, to me it was running, to him it was probably more of a leisurely stroll) with me. This was good and bad.

Good - He was very encouraging, pushed me without killing me completely, and it was actually just nice to have someone to run with in general since I’m normally trailing the rest of the runners at the back of the pack.

Bad – He tricked me into an extra half mile! I wasn’t familiar with the route we were running, so I was just running along with him, letting him lead the way. Bad move! He took me way past the turnaround point and then quickly admitted it with a casual, “Oops! I just added a 1/2 mile to your run,” and an evil smirk!

I can’t complain though. While I found comfort in the fact that we were conveniently running past Harrisburg’s Pinnacle Hospital as the “Oh dear GOD, I’m going to die!” thoughts started setting in, and I’ll admit that I debated if it would be wrong just to detour across the street to get confirmation from a medical professional that no, I really wasn’t dying, I pushed on. I finished the run, and I’m still alive to talk about it.

No mosquito bites, no swallowed bugs, no stumbles or injuries, and I finished without the need for a search and rescue mission this time – Bonus! I’d say that was a successful group run tonight. Go me!

Keep on running,

Goal: 2 miles – Reality: 2.02 miles / A Nice “Easy” Run

I still laugh every time I write the words “easy” and “2 miles” in the same sentence. When did I ever think 2 miles would be “easy” for me? It’s still not easy by any means, but I do feel slightly less like I’m going to die when I only do 2 mile runs now. I’ll call that progress!

It was actually a pretty uneventful run today (hooray for an uneventful run every once in a while!).  It was supposed to be an easy run day today in training. I wouldn’t go as far as to say it truly was easy – what with the 8,000% humidity and all. But it wasn’t awful. It could have been easier, but I wanted to take advantage of the short distance to work on my speed, and I actually got my pace up to 10’40″ on today’s run – my fastest pace yet!

Of course tomorrow is another 4.5 mile group run with my fellow Team in Training members, which is always a nice blow to the ego, so I’m trying to mentally prepare myself just to leave my pride in the car when I set out for the run tomorrow night.

Time to regroup and prepare as best as possible:

• I will eat well tomorrow.
• I will drink plenty of water all day long.
• I will eat approx 400 calories of whole grains and easily digestible food tomorrow pre-run.
• I will finish 4.5 miles strong tomorrow, even if I’m running alone in the back of the pack.

I will finish strong.
(and hopefully without the search and rescue team this time!)

Keep on running!

Goal: 5 miles – Reality: 5.2 miles / Search and Rescue

I’m exhausted for no good apparent reason. Like seriously, ridiculously exhausted. Like feeling dizzy and nauseous exhausted. I’m insanely irritated with myself because I’m this exhausted and I’m only 3 miles into my 5 mile run. How is this happening? I just had a fabulous 4 mile run the other day. I felt great when I got here this morning. How am I so horrendous today, of all freaking days, when I’m running with 15 other people? I’m embarrassed because thanks to my overwhelming exhaustion, I’ve now fallen SO far behind the rest of the runners in my group that I can’t even see them in the distance anymore. So much for “nobody runs alone.” Although secretly, I’m happy that I’m not holding anyone back with me. I feel a small sense of relief that they’ve left me to die alone on this trail in the woods with my pride in a puddle next to me.

Finally giving in to the negative voices that have come crashing into my head (no positive affirmations were going to help me today!), I come to a stop and pull out the directions the coach had provided before we left for the run. They might as well have been written in a foreign language. They made no sense to me when he handed them out, and I find them equally unhelpful now that I’m officially lost. At this point, I’m just hoping I can find my way back to my car in a reasonable amount of time without having to backtrack the entire route, adding many more miles to my already long and oh-so-pleasant journey.

If only I was familiar with the area we were running around. I’m certain there would be a shortcut back – if only I knew where the heck I was.

And why didn’t I carry my cell phone? Stupid. Stupid! I could have called someone to come pick me up and just drive me back to my car. At this point, the embarrassment of hitching a ride back wouldn’t be any worse than it already is, and at least the rest of the team wouldn’t be stuck waiting for me to return to the start.

I look up from my directions to see the coach’s wife running back toward me. Please, say it isn’t so. I wave and smile. And wish the woods would swallow me up whole.

I’m officially a search and rescue mission.

That’s pretty awesome for the self confidence! Well, to look on the bright side, at least she’ll know the fastest way back to my car, right? I start running again with the coach’s wife back to the start. I’m moving so slowly there’s no doubt in my mind that sweet old ladies in walkers could have passed me with ease. When we return to the start, half the team is still there chatting. Waiting. We get cheers and high fives when we return. I roll my eyes, hang my head, and wish I was invisible.

I assess the damage to myself as I suck down a huge cup of Gatorade. I have half a dozen mosquito bites, a sore ankle thanks to two stumbles on the wooded trail, I’m still trying to cough up the bug I swallowed as I gasped for air along the way, and any confidence I had that I would ever be able to complete a 1/2 marathon has been completely shattered.

I finish the Gatorade and wave goodbye to the few team members still in the parking lot.  It’s been fun getting to know them for the last couple weeks, but I’m not able to complete this adventure. I’m sure of it. I’ll send them all an email tonight to say goodbye and wish them luck in their events this Fall. I feel silly for ever even thinking I could actually do this. I turn toward my car when a voice calls me back. “How did you feel today?” asks the coach.

“Not so great,” I reply. The agony of defeat is clear in my tone.

” Really?” he asks. “Did anyone have to carry you to the finish?”

“No.”

“Did you need a wheelchair?”

“No.”

“Did you finish today on your own two feet?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” he says, a kind smile spreading across his face, “it sounds to me like you had a pretty successful run today!”

I shrug, then I smile. Yeah, I guess after all of that, maybe I did have a pretty successful run today. Sure, it wasn’t my fastest run. It certainly wasn’t my proudest training moment. But I still finished my longest mileage ever, on my own two feet.

Maybe it wasn’t that awful after all.

Yeah, I’ll be back out on the road, training strong on Monday, and even facing two more team runs next week, including a 6 mile run next Saturday. I can definitely do this and can’t wait to prove it to myself in September!

Keep on running!

Goal: 4 miles – Reality: 4.08 miles / Farthest and Fastest Run Yet!

I have to say, I’m pretty darn proud of myself tonight, which is a huge step up from a week ago when I found myself rolling head over feet down the main drag of my town (definitely a low point in my running life). Not only did I run farther than ever before tonight, but I took a huge chunk off my pace, too! Normally, I’ve been running somewhere between a 12’15″ and 12’30″ pace on average during my 3 mile runs. Yeah, I’m SLOW. I’m aware of that fact. Hence the subtitle to my blog.

Anyway, this past Tuesday’s 4.02 mile run was a 12’17″ pace, but today’s 4.08 was an 11’52″ pace. The only time I’ve come anywhere close to that pace before was on a 2-ish mile run!
Go me! Get your run on! Go me! Get your run on! (Please sing/cheer/chant along. You know you want to.)

And of course I learned a few lessons along the way tonight that I’m happy to share.

Lesson 1 – The giant oatmeal raisin cookie worked just fine as a pre-run meal.
Carbo-loading at it’s finest! (Disclaimer: I do realize how ridiculous a meal choice this was, but DAMN it was delicious!)

Lesson 2 – The mental training tips I noted in my post this past Tuesday actually WORKED!
When I found the negative thoughts (“you suck, you’re no runner, why even do this to yourself?”) starting to creep in tonight, I successfully stopped them in their tracks. Instead of listening to the negative voices in my head (you know you hear voices, too – they’re like bad imaginary friends, aren’t they?), I countered with positive affirmations. I told myself, “your legs feel strong, your breathing is great, you’re totally fine!” then I’d combine the positive thoughts with a little “run strong, finish strong” mantra, and I kid you not, it all worked! I was shocked, but it really did. I ran strong right through to the end today and never once thought I was really going to have to give up!

Lesson 3 – Whatever you do, DO NOT watch your miles as you run.
On Tuesday, I just took off running without real direction or any sort of geographic plan of action. Bad, bad idea. Unfortunately because of my total lack of planning, I found myself landing too close to home by the 3 mile mark. CRAP! That meant I had to run around my boring little neighborhood like a zillion times just to get in that last full mile. Of course that, in turn, meant I had to watch my mileage tracker ticking by, one painful hundredth of a mile at a time, the entire time, which only added to my “I’ll never survive this last mile” mentality. Today, however, thanks to a little pre-planning, I knew there was no point in even bothering to look at the miles I had covered until I was at the end of the mapped run. It helped me so tremendously in my run today that I just have to share that tip in case it helps anyone else.

And my last, but most important lesson of the day…

Lesson 4 – Anyone can become a runner.
As I’ve mentioned many times, never in a million years did I ever think I’d call myself a runner. Never. EVER. Nope, not me. I’ve always been the loyal hater of anything remotely running related. You know what, though? After today, I’m totally calling myself a runner.  And if I can run, I am living proof that ANYONE can run. Believe me on that one.

Up next is a 5 mile run scheduled for Saturday. Going into this week, the mere thought of 5 miles was terrifying. Interestingly enough, though, I find myself sitting here tonight actually looking forward to pushing myself 5 miles on Saturday, and I feel completely confident I’ll be able to do it.
Yeah, that’s right world. I’m a RUNNER now!

Keep on running!

Carbo-Loading

Do oatmeal raisin cookies (like big ones from Quiznos) count as carbs? Because if so, I’m rationalizing this giant, delicious cookie as my attempt at carbo-loading for my 4 mile run tonight.
That’s completely rational, right?

What? I posted about my lousy diet and it’s impact on running before? Who, ME? No, wasn’t me…

Goal: 4 miles – Reality: 4.02 miles / Going Mental

Can I get a “YEAH BABY!” or a “WOOT WOOT!” or anything of the cheering variety? “Why,” you may ask?

Because I actually RAN a full 4 miles today. I’ve never, ever, in all of my 36 years, EVER run that far. I’ve been running a good 3 miles pretty consistently over the last two months, but I’ll admit, I was nervous when I saw my first 4 mile run marked on the training calendar for this morning’s run. I’ll also admit, that last mile was tough – not physically tough, though. It was mentally kicking my butt the whole time.

I was definitely not prepared for the mental training that running requires. I really thought as a runner, you just put on your shoes and you run. Piece of cake, right? I expected the physical training to crush me. I totally expected that. What I didn’t expect – never even considered, actually – was how mentally difficult running would be. I had no clue of the head games running would play with me. How my mind would completely convince me that I need to give up, that I will never make it, that I’m ridiculous for even attempting 4 miles, let alone 13.1. How physically, I can feel great, but in an instant my mind has me convinced I’ll never make it unless I stop to walk.

Frustrated with letting my mind lead me in my run, rather than my body, I turned to my dear friend Google to find some advice on toughening myself up mentally for the many miles headed my way. I came across this Run Quick site and liked their tips more than some of the others I found in my quest for information.

Two of my favorite ideas from their site are:

Visualization – In a nutshell, picturing yourself running quickly, effortlessly, finishing strong, feeling great, etc. Picturing yourself running that perfect race. If you think it, it will come true.

Positive Self Talk – Basically, if you tell yourself you’re tired and won’t ever make it, you’ll give up. Your mind wins, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, tell yourself things like “this is no problem – I feel great and could run forever!” and watch yourself succeed.

These ideas sound good in theory, don’t they? They make sense to me now, when I’m sitting on my couch watching TV, and not in the midst of that last draining mile of my run. But on Thursday, I’m putting these two mental strategies to the test. Thursday is another 4 mile run. I’ll be dreaming of that perfect race Wednesday night- visualizing myself floating through the full 4 miles effortlessly in the early morning sun. When I find that voice creeping into my head tomorrow, telling me I’ll never make it and need to give up and walk, I’ll fight it off, reminding myself how great my legs feel, how perfect my breathing is, how I can run forever.

And, well, if it doesn’t work, and I find myself still going mental during the last mile, fortunately for me Quick Run still has 6 other strategies I can tap into for my 5 mile run scheduled on Saturday.

I think I can… I think I can… I think I can…

Keep on running!

Goal: 4 miles – Reality: 3.12 miles / Taking Lessons from a Toddler (and not good ones)

Have I been taking life lessons from my 2.5 year old son? Because it’s like I need to test the “rules” I’ve been given when it comes to running. Do I think the coaches are lying to me about what’s best for me in training? Do I think they give me the training recommendations based on sheer guesses pulled out of the air of what might work best and help me be the strongest runner I can be?

No, dummy (and I’m talking to myself here, not you)! They give new runners like me these tips to help us be our best, and to take the guesswork out of it on our end. So maybe it’s time I start paying a little more attention to the “rules” so I can maybe hit my long run goals, unlike today’s failed attempt thanks to a body that waved the white flag way too soon this morning.

Simple rules like these, for example, might be worth following:

Get a good night’s sleep
Seems simple enough, right? Well except for the fact that despite the 6 am wake up call I knew I would have this morning for my run, I still felt the need to stay up until almost midnight last night fighting with a header picture for this blog. Because, you know, that couldn’t have waited until morning or anything.

Eat well (and avoid excessive salt)
So I’m guessing this means the McDonald’s extra value meal I had last night for dinner doesn’t qualify? Really? I think there’s some protein mixed in with all that fat somewhere. And don’t french fries count as carbs?

Stay hydrated
The two giant cups of coffee yesterday combined with a large diet soda last night with my healthy value meal probably don’t count for much in the hydration department, do they? You know, because it’s not like water is readily available to drink or anything from the giant water cooler at work, or our refrigerator (or heck, filtered tap at the sink) at home.

I think I’ve officially proven to myself that maybe it’s time to pay a little more attention to the little things surrounding my training as well as the actual physical training itself. I am somehow expected to run 5 miles by next Saturday, and something tells me that’s not going to happen on a diet of fast food and caffeine.

So in taking yet another lesson from my toddler, I’m going to put myself in Time Out now for not following the basic rules my coaches gave me. Once my Time Out is over, it’s time to start fresh with a better, and healthier eating plan this week. Look out 5 miles, here I come!

Keep on running!

Goal: 3.5 miles – Reality: 2.75 miles, blood and rain. Fun night!

I left the house with the intent of running 3.5 miles today. Mapped out a new route and everything. Took off feeling good, but quickly the run went downhill. Almost immediately my mouth is bone dry, I have a stitch in my side and I’m feeling awful. CRAP! I realize I definitely didn’t drink enough water today. This is going to suck, but I keep going.

So about a mile and a half into the run, I trip over who knows what – rock on the ground? my own feet? absolutely nothing? I have no idea! – and I fall head over feet down the sidewalk along Main Street – you know the appropriately named actual MAIN street in my town. I quickly get up, dust myself of and survey the damage – nothing too bad other than a bloody knee and a bruised ego. One man sees me fall and I quickly start running and blow past him with a wave before he can say anything!

I’m still dying, dehydrated, and now bloody, so I stop to walk a minute. Which is ridiculous since I haven’t even hit 2 miles yet and I’m freaking walking now. Start running again, get to about 2 miles in and now the skies open up and it starts POURING rain. Complete and total downpour. I couldn’t even see because the water was just pouring into my eyes. Of course I’m still almost a full mile from home!

So I book it home as fast as I can – soaked, bloody, and ready to die. Only ended up with a 2.75 mile adventure today instead of 3.5 miles, but it was probably the most eventful run I’ve ever had.

The sad thing was that I didn’t continue running out of dedication. The truth is that I tried to just give up after I fell and call it a night. I completely rerouted to head toward home once I started walking, which is why I was at least headed slightly in the right direction when the rain started. But then when the rain hit so hard, all I could picture was my sorry self getting struck by lightening to really top off the events of the night, so I started running again as fast as I could because I just wanted to get myself home!

The kicker is that despite the fall, despite the walking, and despite the fact that I forgot to turn my Nike+ monitor off when I first got home so it tracked my pace as slower than it should have been – I somehow STILL managed to log my fastest mile yet according to Nike+. I don’t see how, but I had to laugh when the little, “Congratulations on your fastest mile yet!” video popped up when I logged the run. Maybe my sensor got all wacky from the rain water? Who knows.

At this point, I’m just hoping my Saturday run is a bit less exciting…

Keep on running!