Goal: 5 miles – Reality: 5.94 miles / A Morning Filled with Surprises

I dread my group runs. Seriously. I lose sleep the night before because I stress about them so much. I just don’t like not being good at something, and running…well, I’m just not very good at it. I’m getting better – there’s no denying that – but I’m still pretty bad! I’m still the slowest person on the team and always the last to finish the runs, and while it shouldn’t bother me, it just does. I’m getting used to it, though, and I’m not terribly embarrassed by it anymore. Just mildly embarrassed now. I guess that’s progress, right?

I tried to get to bed at a relatively early time last night so the whole “lack of sleep” excuse wouldn’t be there to fall back on this morning in my run. Unfortunately I started to stress about how much today’s group run would suck, and I ended up tossing and turning in bed for hours on end. Awesome! Of course, at that point, I only stressed further about the fact that now I was definitely not getting enough sleep so my morning run was going to suck even MORE than it would normally as I would be completely exhausted…which in turn led me to stress more and lose even more sleep. Such a vicious cycle.

I don’t even know what time I finally fell asleep last night, but when the alarm went off early this morning, I felt terribly tired. No time to complain – it’s time to get my weekly humiliation over with!
I throw on my running clothes, grab a rather nasty tasting Power Bar (I definitely don’t recommend the Cookies and Cream flavor – highly recommend the Chocolate Peanut Butter, though!) and a glass of orange juice and I head out to meet the team.

Five miles. I should be able to do five miles. I ran four miles easily this past week, so what’s one more mile, right? The more I tell myself that, the more I’m hoping I’ll believe it. I repeat this mantra to myself the entire 15 minute ride in the car.

By the time I get to the run location, I’m almost believing I have a shot at this. Hmmm…the mantra is working. Interesting.

The rest of the group arrives, and we take off on the run. I start at the back so no one has to worry about weaving around me as they pass me by, and I make a concerted effort to start off nice and slow. I have a problem with starting too fast and burning out too quickly when I run with the group – I promised myself I wouldn’t do that today. Slow and steady – that’s my plan for today’s run.

Slow and steady…slow and steady… I listen to my breathing, two breaths in, two breaths out, two breaths in, two breaths out – breathing in sync with my steps. Everything feels good. Surprisingly good. We get to the first water break, right at the 2.5 mile mark – right when I start hitting my stride. It’s HOT. It’s HUMID. I know my body needs the water, so I stop for a quick drink and get right back out on the road. The next mile is tough, but not terrible. Surprisingly not terrible. Then I get my stride back. My breathing evens out. My legs feel strong. I breathe to the beat of my stride. We head toward 4 miles, then 4.5. I’m still running strong. I haven’t even thought about stopping to walk. Surprisingly, I’m still feeling strong.

And at that very moment, for the first time since I started this process, I’m not thinking that I was insane to have taken on this challenge. For the first time since training with this group, I feel confident – not crazy. I feel strong. I smile to myself. I’m TOTALLY going to kick this ½ marathon’s butt!

With that wave of confidence, I fly through 5 miles (isn’t this where we’re supposed to be stopping? Why do the coaches always map out our runs LONGER than they should be? I’m on to you, coaches. I’m on to you and your sneaky ways!) and I still feel good. Surprisingly good.

I head into the home stretch and of course see the rest of the training team already relaxing at the finish, water and Gatorade in their hands. Normally the embarrassment of being last – again – would creep in at this point. But today it doesn’t – not even a little bit. Today I smile as I see the finish line in the distance. Now, I’m not going to lie – I’m pretty sure I might die at this point, but I’ve come this far, I’m NOT stopping now, not this close to the finish.  I cross the finish line, still smiling about my run. I look at my tracker to see my mileage. I just ran almost SIX full miles without a single walking break. That’s pretty freaking awesome! I check my pace, expecting a 13 minute mile or so. My pace was 11’43”. Are you KIDDING me? I check it again to make sure I’m not delusional from the heat. I get the same reading. My smile gets even bigger.

Surprisingly, I couldn’t care less that I’m dead last again today as I cross the finish line. I just had the best run of my life. I can’t wait to conquer my 6 mile group run next Saturday. And I really can’t wait to conquer my 13.1 mile ½ marathon in September!

Something tells me I’ll sleep surprisingly well next Friday night before the next group run.

Keep on running!