Goal: 5 miles – Reality: 4.1 miles / Ego Check

Is there like some sort of crazy law of running that dictates that all things have to even out in the running world? Is there some rule that if you have two great runs you must then follow it up with two craptastic ones? Because that’s where I am this week.

Lucky me!

It’s like just when you start to think you might actually have this running thing figured out, the running gods come in and smack you right back into the reality that you have no clue what you’re truly doing running like this!

Thanks for the ego check, running gods. Wouldn’t want me getting all “Ooh, I’m a runner now!” would we? Silly me.

Let’s start with Monday. Oh, Monday. What a lovely run. It was a balmy 96+ degrees (which was even more pleasant while running along the blacktop of the streets, feeling the heat rise from below, too). But I only had to run 2 miles. I mean, how hard would that be, right?

Riiiiight…

It sucked. Big time! I ran 7 miles without stopping on Saturday and felt on top of the world, but I walked briefly at one point in my 2 mile run yesterday. Seriously – I had to walk? What in the world? Talk about running being a mental game. Let’s see what went through my head as I ran yesterday:

“It’s SO freaking HOT out here!”

“Who runs in this weather?”

“I should have waited until later to run.”

“I should have chugged more water today.”

“I should have run at the gym on the treadmill instead.”

“I need to stop and walk”

(to which I stopped and walked for a minute, only to think…)

“I have to run – the quicker I get home, the quicker I get out of this insane heat!”

(to which I started running again only to think…)

“Dear GOD I’m going to die out here on a lousy 2 mile run!”

Then I came home and threw myself into my child’s sprinkler in the back yard. Ahhh, the sweet relief of freezing cold hose water!

Oh, and I’d like to give a special shout out to the man who yelled out from his porch, “Is it hot enough out here for you?” as I passed by his house. Yeah, buddy. It was. It really was hot enough. Thanks.

Fast forward to tonight’s run. It was over 100 degrees out there today. Now I might be crazy, but I’m not insane enough to try a 5 mile run in heat like that. You can’t even breathe out there to walk to the car, let alone to run!

My options for today were to either get up at 4:45 am to get my run in before work, or to hit the treadmill at the gym after putting my son to bed. I decided the treadmill would be my best bet. I was wrong. Let me just say that if I have the same options in front of me for my Thursday run, I can guarantee I’ll be getting out of bed to run before the sun comes up.

How do you people run on a treadmill?

I’m seriously treadmill challenged. I mean, running on a treadmill is boring to start with, let alone running any long distances. I knew 5 miles would be beyond boring, but I hoped maybe I’d find a good show on TV to tune into while I ran. Not so much. I’m sorry, but when 2 hours of Hell’s Kitchen was the best option of the six different channels available, I knew I was in for a painful run, despite the air conditioned locale.

Beyond the boredom factor, let’s talk about the elephant factor. That would be what anyone around me would likely say I sound like on a treadmill – a big old clumsy elephant. I feel like my feet are just flopping around – THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD – the whole time. I’m all uncoordinated on the treadmill for some reason I don’t quite understand. Granted, I’ll be the first to admit I’m not very coordinated when it comes to basic physical movement in general, and I’ve been known to take a fall here or there even running outside (see my first ever post here!). But the treadmill is a whole new level of clumsy for me.

I counted 7 stumbles that resulted in me grabbing onto the treadmill handles just seconds before falling face first into the machine tonight. Yes, you read that right. I tripped 7 times over absolutely NOTHING – 5 of which were in the first 2.5 miles. Are you kidding me? Who is that uncoordinated?
Oh, right. That would be me.

So there I ran, thumping my feet along, paranoid about falling on my face, trying not to make eye contact with anyone (as I was quite certain I was making the people around me nervous as they watched me, hoping they wouldn’t have to be the ones to call 911 when I finally fell off the darn thing for good), and bored to tears. At 2.5 miles I realized my left foot was numb. Guess I tied that shoe a little too tight. Fabulous! Because I was already having so much fun as it was. A numb foot just topped off the night. I stopped, fixed the shoe, and never turned my mileage tracker back on. Of course I didn’t realize this until the end of the run, so I turned it back on for like the last quarter mile – like it even mattered at that point? Why did I even bother? Oh, and I didn’t even make my 5 mile goal. I just gave up. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Once again, it was the mental game that beat me tonight. Physically I could have done 5 miles without issue, but when I tripped that 7th time and missed hitting my face on the screen of the treadmill by mere inches, I threw in the towel and called it a night at only 4.1 miles. I was irritated, embarrassed, bored, and trying to leave with my face still in one piece.

So I guess the lesson learned here is that for all the highs felt in running, there are going to continue to be an awful lot of lows along the way. Just when you get confident in what you’re doing, something will bring you back down to the reality of how hard this all really is to conquer. I guess it just all evens out as you go along. And conquering those lows is what will get me back out there on the next run.

Let’s just hope those running gods are in agreement that I’m due for some highs to come back around for the rest of the week’s runs – especially Saturday’s long one!

Keep on running!