Goal: 5 miles – Reality: 5.94 miles / A Morning Filled with Surprises

I dread my group runs. Seriously. I lose sleep the night before because I stress about them so much. I just don’t like not being good at something, and running…well, I’m just not very good at it. I’m getting better – there’s no denying that – but I’m still pretty bad! I’m still the slowest person on the team and always the last to finish the runs, and while it shouldn’t bother me, it just does. I’m getting used to it, though, and I’m not terribly embarrassed by it anymore. Just mildly embarrassed now. I guess that’s progress, right?

I tried to get to bed at a relatively early time last night so the whole “lack of sleep” excuse wouldn’t be there to fall back on this morning in my run. Unfortunately I started to stress about how much today’s group run would suck, and I ended up tossing and turning in bed for hours on end. Awesome! Of course, at that point, I only stressed further about the fact that now I was definitely not getting enough sleep so my morning run was going to suck even MORE than it would normally as I would be completely exhausted…which in turn led me to stress more and lose even more sleep. Such a vicious cycle.

I don’t even know what time I finally fell asleep last night, but when the alarm went off early this morning, I felt terribly tired. No time to complain – it’s time to get my weekly humiliation over with!
I throw on my running clothes, grab a rather nasty tasting Power Bar (I definitely don’t recommend the Cookies and Cream flavor – highly recommend the Chocolate Peanut Butter, though!) and a glass of orange juice and I head out to meet the team.

Five miles. I should be able to do five miles. I ran four miles easily this past week, so what’s one more mile, right? The more I tell myself that, the more I’m hoping I’ll believe it. I repeat this mantra to myself the entire 15 minute ride in the car.

By the time I get to the run location, I’m almost believing I have a shot at this. Hmmm…the mantra is working. Interesting.

The rest of the group arrives, and we take off on the run. I start at the back so no one has to worry about weaving around me as they pass me by, and I make a concerted effort to start off nice and slow. I have a problem with starting too fast and burning out too quickly when I run with the group – I promised myself I wouldn’t do that today. Slow and steady – that’s my plan for today’s run.

Slow and steady…slow and steady… I listen to my breathing, two breaths in, two breaths out, two breaths in, two breaths out – breathing in sync with my steps. Everything feels good. Surprisingly good. We get to the first water break, right at the 2.5 mile mark – right when I start hitting my stride. It’s HOT. It’s HUMID. I know my body needs the water, so I stop for a quick drink and get right back out on the road. The next mile is tough, but not terrible. Surprisingly not terrible. Then I get my stride back. My breathing evens out. My legs feel strong. I breathe to the beat of my stride. We head toward 4 miles, then 4.5. I’m still running strong. I haven’t even thought about stopping to walk. Surprisingly, I’m still feeling strong.

And at that very moment, for the first time since I started this process, I’m not thinking that I was insane to have taken on this challenge. For the first time since training with this group, I feel confident – not crazy. I feel strong. I smile to myself. I’m TOTALLY going to kick this ½ marathon’s butt!

With that wave of confidence, I fly through 5 miles (isn’t this where we’re supposed to be stopping? Why do the coaches always map out our runs LONGER than they should be? I’m on to you, coaches. I’m on to you and your sneaky ways!) and I still feel good. Surprisingly good.

I head into the home stretch and of course see the rest of the training team already relaxing at the finish, water and Gatorade in their hands. Normally the embarrassment of being last – again – would creep in at this point. But today it doesn’t – not even a little bit. Today I smile as I see the finish line in the distance. Now, I’m not going to lie – I’m pretty sure I might die at this point, but I’ve come this far, I’m NOT stopping now, not this close to the finish.  I cross the finish line, still smiling about my run. I look at my tracker to see my mileage. I just ran almost SIX full miles without a single walking break. That’s pretty freaking awesome! I check my pace, expecting a 13 minute mile or so. My pace was 11’43”. Are you KIDDING me? I check it again to make sure I’m not delusional from the heat. I get the same reading. My smile gets even bigger.

Surprisingly, I couldn’t care less that I’m dead last again today as I cross the finish line. I just had the best run of my life. I can’t wait to conquer my 6 mile group run next Saturday. And I really can’t wait to conquer my 13.1 mile ½ marathon in September!

Something tells me I’ll sleep surprisingly well next Friday night before the next group run.

Keep on running!

Goal: 4 miles – Reality: 4.17 miles / Light Bulb Moment!

The little light bulb went off over my head today during my early morning run. There’s a lot of time to think when you’re out running before most people roll out of bed, and today I was starting to think about (or maybe I should say dread) my upcoming group run on Saturday. Man, they always suck. Always. I always struggle with them. Even if I’ve run the same mileage at home 10 times, I get to the group run and the same mileage crushes me, leaving me feeling like an idiot for even thinking I could do this.

Why? Why are the group runs so hard for me?

Light Bulb Moment!

Out of nowhere, at 2.75 miles into my morning run today, it hit me – it was so obvious! I had just pushed through that feeling of “wow I have a long way to go still – how will I ever make it?” My feet were finally starting to get in sync. My breathing was finally steady. My legs felt strong, and there was no doubt in my mind that I would finish the 4 mile run easily. And in that moment – that moment of running clarity – the light bulb lit brilliantly above my head. How had I missed it until now?

To this point I’ve been blaming my group run struggles on LOTS of things:

1. No earphones during the group runs (I’m still holding to this one – I need my cheesy music beating in my ears!).
2. Poor pre-run diet (I’ve gotten much better with this, I’m happy to report).
3. Mental struggles with being the slowest and most inexperienced runner in the group (a continuing struggle).

And yes, all of those things are valid factors, but the biggest thing – the one thing killing me more than any other – was the one thing I wasn’t even remotely considering.

Water breaks are killing me.

Seriously – water breaks! Go figure. I’m struggling in my group runs because of the water breaks we take.

I know this sounds completely crazy, but follow my logic…

See, when I run on my own, it takes me until about 2.5 miles until I really feel myself fall into my groove – that point where I push past the initial exhaustion, my feet stop feeling like uncoordinated cement blocks, and I find the place where I feel like I’m in control of the run. My legs are strong. My lungs are strong. My pace evens out. Everything starts working in sync – and then I just keep moving forward. When I run on my own, I just run. I don’t stop for water breaks. I haven’t really felt the need to stop yet as my mileage hasn’t gone more than 5 miles during my solo runs. So my body, legs, lungs, heart, mind – all stay focused in the constant motion of the run. But this only happens once I get past that 2.5 mile mark.

Still following me? Good!

Now, during my group runs each week, we stop for periodic water breaks. Seems harmless enough. I know I’m always excited to see the water breaks because I’m always ready to die by the time I get to them. Well DUH! Do you know why I’m dying when I get to them? Do you know where they put these water breaks? They put them somewhere between every 2-3 miles, depending on the length of the run. EXACTLY at the point in my runs where my body goes from exhausted to exhilarated. Now instead of pushing through the early run pain, I’m instead shutting down to break for water – right at that critical point in the run! So now when I start up again, even after that very short break, I’ve lost my momentum. I’ve lost my strength, my stride, my confidence in the run. Now I’m starting over when I start running again, and I’m starting over at that exhaustion point I never pushed through. I never seem to hit my stride again. I never seem to be able to push through that critical point in my run once I stop moving. And if I manage to get back to that point again in the next leg of the run, it’s just as we’re coming to another water break. And the cycle of struggle begins again.

Freaking water breaks! Who would have thought?

OK, so now what do I do? Do I not stop for water breaks? EVERYONE on the group runs stops for water breaks. I can’t just not stop – they’ll think I’ve completely lost my marbles if I go running past everyone. Heck, it’s like 90+ degrees out there during our Saturday runs. We need to be stopping for water breaks. I get that. You can see my dilemma here…

So how do I work around this?

What wonderful lessons will Saturday’s run bring after today’s light bulb moment? Only time will tell, I suppose.

Keep on running!

Goal: 4 miles – Reality: 4.33 miles / The Art of Compromise (aka Doing it My Way)

I went into my run tonight with a plan for compromise. I was going to compromise on my training plan this week. Tonight I would run my 4 miles my way, but Thursday I would compromise and do it the coach’s way. I would run the same route, and the same 4 miles, but with the coach’s instruction of adding walk breaks every 10 minutes. Then I could compare the two runs to see how the pace, time, etc, all compared. It made sense. It was a good plan.

But there was one glaring problem with my plan. I’m not very good at compromise.

See, I’m just not very good at doing things “their” way. Who are “they” anyway? OK, sometimes they’re experts in their areas of training (ahem, my coaches…) but still. I’m just not very good at listening to others when I think that my way is the best way. And I have to be honest – I very often think my way is the best way (just ask my poor husband).

I can’t help it. It’s the only child in me! I like things how I like them, when I like them, the way I like them. I like to do things my way – whatever way that may me. And in my mind, my way is usually the “right” way, even when it’s most likely, sometimes even most definitely, NOT “right.”

I spent most of my 4 mile run tonight pondering this very issue as I continued my internal debate about adding walk breaks into my training. Why can’t I just follow the coach’s instruction? Do I have some horribly self destructive side to me? Do I have some issue with authority that I have to rally against? I really don’t think so. I really don’t want to hurt myself at all, and most of the bosses I’ve worked for over the years would be quick to tell you I’m pretty easy to work with. So I really don’t think it’s an authority issue.

I just like doing things MY way.

I like running. I like training harder than ever before. I like the challenge of hitting miles I’ve never hit before. I like feeling confident when I beat a new personal best – running farther than ever before, running faster than ever before, crushing that hill that used to crush me. These are the small accomplishments that make me want to get out there and go farther and push faster again, setting new goals along the way. I’ve had a lot of challenges in life lately, many that have been completely out of my control. But this one – this challenge is one I can control. Conquering this goal is completely in my hands.

And I plan to conquer it MY way.

And right now, I want to run. I don’t want to walk when I don’t have to. If I’m gasping, cramping, on the verge of passing out, yes, I’ll walk. I’m not crazy. I don’t have a death wish. I just want to run, and I want to run hard. I ran the entire run tonight and it felt great. It felt strong. It felt better than ever before. I conquered 4 miles with relative ease tonight, in the blaring 90+ degree heat. I felt too good to stop and walk. So I ran. And I just kept running. And when Thursday’s run comes, I’m going to run again.

I’m going to run the 4 miles MY way.

Saturday’s run will be a more challenging 5 miles with the coach pushing me to train HIS way, so I really don’t know what Saturday will bring in my training or how I’ll run that day. But right now Saturday doesn’t matter. Today matters.

And today I am happy, because today I did it MY way.

Keep on running!

Goal: 2 miles – Reality 2.77 miles / 2 Mile Monday!

I have to say I love my 2 Mile Mondays in training. Every week throughout my training, Monday is a short 2 mile run. It’s fun, fast, and builds my confidence back up each week after my brutal ego-busting long runs each weekend.

Nothing terribly exciting to report today, but I’ll be back tomorrow with a full report on my 4 mile run in the morning. Off to sleep now. 5 am will come WAY too early tomorrow, as always.

Keep on running!

Saturday’s Goal: 6 miles – Saturday’s Reality: 6.02 miles / No “Cheating!”

OK, so I’m a few days late to post this, but this is the first time in 3 days I’ve been able to just sit and write. Sorry for the delay!

The big news – I SURVIVED! Yeah baby! I survived my 6 mile group run this past Saturday and didn’t even require a search and rescue party this time. Definitely an all around better run than last week’s 5 mile trek that had me lost in the woods.

Now while I find myself thrilled to have survived, and done so with a half decent pace, even. I find myself feeling like I “cheated” a little on my long run.

See, the coaches with Team in Training have apparently been researching various Run/Walk methods of training for people who have never run endurance races previously, and they’re looking into making this sort of training the new standard for all new runners. They want me and another beginner in our group to start trying this in our next few long runs. But I have these thoughts in the back of my head that I’m “cheating” if I take the required walk breaks. I don’t want to do it. But I should do it. But I don’t want to do it. You can see where this is headed.

If you’re not familiar with any of the the Run/Walk methods, they’re basically training plans that have you run for a certain amount of time, then recover with a short 1-2 minute walk, then run again, then take the next 1-2 minute recovery break – lather, rinse, repeat for the duration of the half marathon, marathon, whatever you’re running.  One of the most popular methods is Jeff Galloway’s Run-Walk-Run method. All the various methods boast the same basic benefits. For example, you supposedly get the same cardio benefits as running the entire time, but supposedly your overall pace is often either the same, or even slightly better overall, than if you ran the entire race. Seems strange, right? How can your pace actually be better when you add walk breaks throughout the race? Well, supposedly the recovery periods allow you to hit the running portions harder, so your pace ends up staying similar to what it would be if you ran the whole time, but you can apparently feel stronger for longer periods of time, so when the rest of the people who have been running the entire 13.1 or 26.2 miles start losing steam at the end, the people who are doing the run/walk method still have energy in reserve to push through the finish strong, often passing those struggling without walk breaks. It’s also supposed to significantly reduce injuries in beginner runners.

OK, it all makes sense, and sounds great, right? Why wouldn’t someone want to try this method? You’re SUPPOSED to walk. Sounds like a dream in training, doesn’t it? Heck, I’ve talked personally with people who swear the method took significant time off their marathon runs. Another friend (and an experienced runner herself who always recommends the Jeff Galloway method to beginners, by the way) tells me she knows people who do Iron Man competitions using the Run/Walk method, so that should tell me it’s not “cheating,” right? I mean Iron Man people are some TOUGH competitors!
My heart (and lungs as they gasp for breath) tell me “WALK STUPID! You’re being told you’re allowed to walk! DO IT for crying out loud!” But my heart says “You signed up to run this 1/2 marathon, not walk it – don’t “cheat” on your runs!” They’re not playing nice with each other, leaving me torn on what to do.

I know it’s dumb. Even most of the experienced runners I’ve met say they take walk breaks throughout the 1/2 and full marathons, even if it’s just walking through the water stations.  Are 1-2 minute walks every once in a while really all that different?

But I just FEEL like I’m “cheating.”

So I find myself in the midst of a heated internal debate on what to do next. I have a 4 mile run on Tuesday and I know I can run the distance without stopping, so I have a hard time forcing myself to stop for walk breaks.  But I should listen to the coach, right? I mean, he is the coach for a reason. I should put his new training to the test, trusting it to work, shouldn’t I? At least see how everything averages out when I train his way? This should be a DREAM in training – the coach WANTS me to take walk breaks. Hello? What’s wrong with me? Why am I not jumping at this opportunity?

I need to get over the whole “cheating” thing. There’s no shame in walking. I know there’s not. But my mind continues to battle my heart with where to go now. All I know is I want to get to the finish line. I want to finish strong. That’s what I know. What I don’t know is how, exactly, I’m going to make that happen.

So what happens next? Will I run 4 miles straight or try the Run/Walk method as it was suggested?

Guess we’ll see on Tuesday…

Keep on running!

Goal: 4.5 miles – Reality: 2.27 miles / Training FAIL!

Thanks to some serious stomach cramps that hit out of nowhere tonight at 1.5 miles, I had to cut tonight’s run WAY short.

I think today’s lesson worth sharing is most likely: No milkshakes the day of a run! I’m thinking too much dairy at lunch today may have been my key FAIL move of the day. So sad, too, because it sure was a delicious treat earlier in the day.

Oh well, moving on to Saturday. My group long run is for 6 miles on Saturday! It will be my farthest distance yet and I’m partially excited and partially terrified. Can I do it? Time will tell!

Hoping for a good run and no search and rescue missions this weekend. I’ll update after the run with all the gory details!

Keep on running!

Goal: 4.5 miles – Reality: 5.02 miles / Hazards of Running with the Coach

As planned, I left my pride in the hot car to sweat it out as I headed into my group run this evening. I’ll admit that I was dreading this run all day because I just didn’t feel like dealing with the blow to the ego that EVERY group run has been to date. Fortunately, my dedication (aka – stubbornness) far outweighs my fragile ego, so I continue to show up for the biweekly beatings of my pride.

Anyway, I get out of the car and of course (because really – like I shouldn’t have expected it) there were only 4 of us that showed up for the run – three very experienced runners and me. Awesome! Out for the run were two long-time distance runners (the kind that think a 10 mile run is a short one – I’m not the only one thinking that’s crazy, right?), the coach, and me.

Well, the two “pro” runners took off together and the coach was sweet enough to run (well, to me it was running, to him it was probably more of a leisurely stroll) with me. This was good and bad.

Good - He was very encouraging, pushed me without killing me completely, and it was actually just nice to have someone to run with in general since I’m normally trailing the rest of the runners at the back of the pack.

Bad – He tricked me into an extra half mile! I wasn’t familiar with the route we were running, so I was just running along with him, letting him lead the way. Bad move! He took me way past the turnaround point and then quickly admitted it with a casual, “Oops! I just added a 1/2 mile to your run,” and an evil smirk!

I can’t complain though. While I found comfort in the fact that we were conveniently running past Harrisburg’s Pinnacle Hospital as the “Oh dear GOD, I’m going to die!” thoughts started setting in, and I’ll admit that I debated if it would be wrong just to detour across the street to get confirmation from a medical professional that no, I really wasn’t dying, I pushed on. I finished the run, and I’m still alive to talk about it.

No mosquito bites, no swallowed bugs, no stumbles or injuries, and I finished without the need for a search and rescue mission this time – Bonus! I’d say that was a successful group run tonight. Go me!

Keep on running,

Goal: 2 miles – Reality: 2.02 miles / A Nice “Easy” Run

I still laugh every time I write the words “easy” and “2 miles” in the same sentence. When did I ever think 2 miles would be “easy” for me? It’s still not easy by any means, but I do feel slightly less like I’m going to die when I only do 2 mile runs now. I’ll call that progress!

It was actually a pretty uneventful run today (hooray for an uneventful run every once in a while!).  It was supposed to be an easy run day today in training. I wouldn’t go as far as to say it truly was easy – what with the 8,000% humidity and all. But it wasn’t awful. It could have been easier, but I wanted to take advantage of the short distance to work on my speed, and I actually got my pace up to 10’40″ on today’s run – my fastest pace yet!

Of course tomorrow is another 4.5 mile group run with my fellow Team in Training members, which is always a nice blow to the ego, so I’m trying to mentally prepare myself just to leave my pride in the car when I set out for the run tomorrow night.

Time to regroup and prepare as best as possible:

• I will eat well tomorrow.
• I will drink plenty of water all day long.
• I will eat approx 400 calories of whole grains and easily digestible food tomorrow pre-run.
• I will finish 4.5 miles strong tomorrow, even if I’m running alone in the back of the pack.

I will finish strong.
(and hopefully without the search and rescue team this time!)

Keep on running!

Goal: 5 miles – Reality: 5.2 miles / Search and Rescue

I’m exhausted for no good apparent reason. Like seriously, ridiculously exhausted. Like feeling dizzy and nauseous exhausted. I’m insanely irritated with myself because I’m this exhausted and I’m only 3 miles into my 5 mile run. How is this happening? I just had a fabulous 4 mile run the other day. I felt great when I got here this morning. How am I so horrendous today, of all freaking days, when I’m running with 15 other people? I’m embarrassed because thanks to my overwhelming exhaustion, I’ve now fallen SO far behind the rest of the runners in my group that I can’t even see them in the distance anymore. So much for “nobody runs alone.” Although secretly, I’m happy that I’m not holding anyone back with me. I feel a small sense of relief that they’ve left me to die alone on this trail in the woods with my pride in a puddle next to me.

Finally giving in to the negative voices that have come crashing into my head (no positive affirmations were going to help me today!), I come to a stop and pull out the directions the coach had provided before we left for the run. They might as well have been written in a foreign language. They made no sense to me when he handed them out, and I find them equally unhelpful now that I’m officially lost. At this point, I’m just hoping I can find my way back to my car in a reasonable amount of time without having to backtrack the entire route, adding many more miles to my already long and oh-so-pleasant journey.

If only I was familiar with the area we were running around. I’m certain there would be a shortcut back – if only I knew where the heck I was.

And why didn’t I carry my cell phone? Stupid. Stupid! I could have called someone to come pick me up and just drive me back to my car. At this point, the embarrassment of hitching a ride back wouldn’t be any worse than it already is, and at least the rest of the team wouldn’t be stuck waiting for me to return to the start.

I look up from my directions to see the coach’s wife running back toward me. Please, say it isn’t so. I wave and smile. And wish the woods would swallow me up whole.

I’m officially a search and rescue mission.

That’s pretty awesome for the self confidence! Well, to look on the bright side, at least she’ll know the fastest way back to my car, right? I start running again with the coach’s wife back to the start. I’m moving so slowly there’s no doubt in my mind that sweet old ladies in walkers could have passed me with ease. When we return to the start, half the team is still there chatting. Waiting. We get cheers and high fives when we return. I roll my eyes, hang my head, and wish I was invisible.

I assess the damage to myself as I suck down a huge cup of Gatorade. I have half a dozen mosquito bites, a sore ankle thanks to two stumbles on the wooded trail, I’m still trying to cough up the bug I swallowed as I gasped for air along the way, and any confidence I had that I would ever be able to complete a 1/2 marathon has been completely shattered.

I finish the Gatorade and wave goodbye to the few team members still in the parking lot.  It’s been fun getting to know them for the last couple weeks, but I’m not able to complete this adventure. I’m sure of it. I’ll send them all an email tonight to say goodbye and wish them luck in their events this Fall. I feel silly for ever even thinking I could actually do this. I turn toward my car when a voice calls me back. “How did you feel today?” asks the coach.

“Not so great,” I reply. The agony of defeat is clear in my tone.

” Really?” he asks. “Did anyone have to carry you to the finish?”

“No.”

“Did you need a wheelchair?”

“No.”

“Did you finish today on your own two feet?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” he says, a kind smile spreading across his face, “it sounds to me like you had a pretty successful run today!”

I shrug, then I smile. Yeah, I guess after all of that, maybe I did have a pretty successful run today. Sure, it wasn’t my fastest run. It certainly wasn’t my proudest training moment. But I still finished my longest mileage ever, on my own two feet.

Maybe it wasn’t that awful after all.

Yeah, I’ll be back out on the road, training strong on Monday, and even facing two more team runs next week, including a 6 mile run next Saturday. I can definitely do this and can’t wait to prove it to myself in September!

Keep on running!

Goal: 4 miles – Reality: 4.08 miles / Farthest and Fastest Run Yet!

I have to say, I’m pretty darn proud of myself tonight, which is a huge step up from a week ago when I found myself rolling head over feet down the main drag of my town (definitely a low point in my running life). Not only did I run farther than ever before tonight, but I took a huge chunk off my pace, too! Normally, I’ve been running somewhere between a 12’15″ and 12’30″ pace on average during my 3 mile runs. Yeah, I’m SLOW. I’m aware of that fact. Hence the subtitle to my blog.

Anyway, this past Tuesday’s 4.02 mile run was a 12’17″ pace, but today’s 4.08 was an 11’52″ pace. The only time I’ve come anywhere close to that pace before was on a 2-ish mile run!
Go me! Get your run on! Go me! Get your run on! (Please sing/cheer/chant along. You know you want to.)

And of course I learned a few lessons along the way tonight that I’m happy to share.

Lesson 1 – The giant oatmeal raisin cookie worked just fine as a pre-run meal.
Carbo-loading at it’s finest! (Disclaimer: I do realize how ridiculous a meal choice this was, but DAMN it was delicious!)

Lesson 2 – The mental training tips I noted in my post this past Tuesday actually WORKED!
When I found the negative thoughts (“you suck, you’re no runner, why even do this to yourself?”) starting to creep in tonight, I successfully stopped them in their tracks. Instead of listening to the negative voices in my head (you know you hear voices, too – they’re like bad imaginary friends, aren’t they?), I countered with positive affirmations. I told myself, “your legs feel strong, your breathing is great, you’re totally fine!” then I’d combine the positive thoughts with a little “run strong, finish strong” mantra, and I kid you not, it all worked! I was shocked, but it really did. I ran strong right through to the end today and never once thought I was really going to have to give up!

Lesson 3 – Whatever you do, DO NOT watch your miles as you run.
On Tuesday, I just took off running without real direction or any sort of geographic plan of action. Bad, bad idea. Unfortunately because of my total lack of planning, I found myself landing too close to home by the 3 mile mark. CRAP! That meant I had to run around my boring little neighborhood like a zillion times just to get in that last full mile. Of course that, in turn, meant I had to watch my mileage tracker ticking by, one painful hundredth of a mile at a time, the entire time, which only added to my “I’ll never survive this last mile” mentality. Today, however, thanks to a little pre-planning, I knew there was no point in even bothering to look at the miles I had covered until I was at the end of the mapped run. It helped me so tremendously in my run today that I just have to share that tip in case it helps anyone else.

And my last, but most important lesson of the day…

Lesson 4 – Anyone can become a runner.
As I’ve mentioned many times, never in a million years did I ever think I’d call myself a runner. Never. EVER. Nope, not me. I’ve always been the loyal hater of anything remotely running related. You know what, though? After today, I’m totally calling myself a runner.  And if I can run, I am living proof that ANYONE can run. Believe me on that one.

Up next is a 5 mile run scheduled for Saturday. Going into this week, the mere thought of 5 miles was terrifying. Interestingly enough, though, I find myself sitting here tonight actually looking forward to pushing myself 5 miles on Saturday, and I feel completely confident I’ll be able to do it.
Yeah, that’s right world. I’m a RUNNER now!

Keep on running!

Carbo-Loading

Do oatmeal raisin cookies (like big ones from Quiznos) count as carbs? Because if so, I’m rationalizing this giant, delicious cookie as my attempt at carbo-loading for my 4 mile run tonight.
That’s completely rational, right?

What? I posted about my lousy diet and it’s impact on running before? Who, ME? No, wasn’t me…

Goal: 4 miles – Reality: 4.02 miles / Going Mental

Can I get a “YEAH BABY!” or a “WOOT WOOT!” or anything of the cheering variety? “Why,” you may ask?

Because I actually RAN a full 4 miles today. I’ve never, ever, in all of my 36 years, EVER run that far. I’ve been running a good 3 miles pretty consistently over the last two months, but I’ll admit, I was nervous when I saw my first 4 mile run marked on the training calendar for this morning’s run. I’ll also admit, that last mile was tough – not physically tough, though. It was mentally kicking my butt the whole time.

I was definitely not prepared for the mental training that running requires. I really thought as a runner, you just put on your shoes and you run. Piece of cake, right? I expected the physical training to crush me. I totally expected that. What I didn’t expect – never even considered, actually – was how mentally difficult running would be. I had no clue of the head games running would play with me. How my mind would completely convince me that I need to give up, that I will never make it, that I’m ridiculous for even attempting 4 miles, let alone 13.1. How physically, I can feel great, but in an instant my mind has me convinced I’ll never make it unless I stop to walk.

Frustrated with letting my mind lead me in my run, rather than my body, I turned to my dear friend Google to find some advice on toughening myself up mentally for the many miles headed my way. I came across this Run Quick site and liked their tips more than some of the others I found in my quest for information.

Two of my favorite ideas from their site are:

Visualization – In a nutshell, picturing yourself running quickly, effortlessly, finishing strong, feeling great, etc. Picturing yourself running that perfect race. If you think it, it will come true.

Positive Self Talk – Basically, if you tell yourself you’re tired and won’t ever make it, you’ll give up. Your mind wins, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, tell yourself things like “this is no problem – I feel great and could run forever!” and watch yourself succeed.

These ideas sound good in theory, don’t they? They make sense to me now, when I’m sitting on my couch watching TV, and not in the midst of that last draining mile of my run. But on Thursday, I’m putting these two mental strategies to the test. Thursday is another 4 mile run. I’ll be dreaming of that perfect race Wednesday night- visualizing myself floating through the full 4 miles effortlessly in the early morning sun. When I find that voice creeping into my head tomorrow, telling me I’ll never make it and need to give up and walk, I’ll fight it off, reminding myself how great my legs feel, how perfect my breathing is, how I can run forever.

And, well, if it doesn’t work, and I find myself still going mental during the last mile, fortunately for me Quick Run still has 6 other strategies I can tap into for my 5 mile run scheduled on Saturday.

I think I can… I think I can… I think I can…

Keep on running!

Goal: 4 miles – Reality: 3.12 miles / Taking Lessons from a Toddler (and not good ones)

Have I been taking life lessons from my 2.5 year old son? Because it’s like I need to test the “rules” I’ve been given when it comes to running. Do I think the coaches are lying to me about what’s best for me in training? Do I think they give me the training recommendations based on sheer guesses pulled out of the air of what might work best and help me be the strongest runner I can be?

No, dummy (and I’m talking to myself here, not you)! They give new runners like me these tips to help us be our best, and to take the guesswork out of it on our end. So maybe it’s time I start paying a little more attention to the “rules” so I can maybe hit my long run goals, unlike today’s failed attempt thanks to a body that waved the white flag way too soon this morning.

Simple rules like these, for example, might be worth following:

Get a good night’s sleep
Seems simple enough, right? Well except for the fact that despite the 6 am wake up call I knew I would have this morning for my run, I still felt the need to stay up until almost midnight last night fighting with a header picture for this blog. Because, you know, that couldn’t have waited until morning or anything.

Eat well (and avoid excessive salt)
So I’m guessing this means the McDonald’s extra value meal I had last night for dinner doesn’t qualify? Really? I think there’s some protein mixed in with all that fat somewhere. And don’t french fries count as carbs?

Stay hydrated
The two giant cups of coffee yesterday combined with a large diet soda last night with my healthy value meal probably don’t count for much in the hydration department, do they? You know, because it’s not like water is readily available to drink or anything from the giant water cooler at work, or our refrigerator (or heck, filtered tap at the sink) at home.

I think I’ve officially proven to myself that maybe it’s time to pay a little more attention to the little things surrounding my training as well as the actual physical training itself. I am somehow expected to run 5 miles by next Saturday, and something tells me that’s not going to happen on a diet of fast food and caffeine.

So in taking yet another lesson from my toddler, I’m going to put myself in Time Out now for not following the basic rules my coaches gave me. Once my Time Out is over, it’s time to start fresh with a better, and healthier eating plan this week. Look out 5 miles, here I come!

Keep on running!

Goal: 3.5 miles – Reality: 2.75 miles, blood and rain. Fun night!

I left the house with the intent of running 3.5 miles today. Mapped out a new route and everything. Took off feeling good, but quickly the run went downhill. Almost immediately my mouth is bone dry, I have a stitch in my side and I’m feeling awful. CRAP! I realize I definitely didn’t drink enough water today. This is going to suck, but I keep going.

So about a mile and a half into the run, I trip over who knows what – rock on the ground? my own feet? absolutely nothing? I have no idea! – and I fall head over feet down the sidewalk along Main Street – you know the appropriately named actual MAIN street in my town. I quickly get up, dust myself of and survey the damage – nothing too bad other than a bloody knee and a bruised ego. One man sees me fall and I quickly start running and blow past him with a wave before he can say anything!

I’m still dying, dehydrated, and now bloody, so I stop to walk a minute. Which is ridiculous since I haven’t even hit 2 miles yet and I’m freaking walking now. Start running again, get to about 2 miles in and now the skies open up and it starts POURING rain. Complete and total downpour. I couldn’t even see because the water was just pouring into my eyes. Of course I’m still almost a full mile from home!

So I book it home as fast as I can – soaked, bloody, and ready to die. Only ended up with a 2.75 mile adventure today instead of 3.5 miles, but it was probably the most eventful run I’ve ever had.

The sad thing was that I didn’t continue running out of dedication. The truth is that I tried to just give up after I fell and call it a night. I completely rerouted to head toward home once I started walking, which is why I was at least headed slightly in the right direction when the rain started. But then when the rain hit so hard, all I could picture was my sorry self getting struck by lightening to really top off the events of the night, so I started running again as fast as I could because I just wanted to get myself home!

The kicker is that despite the fall, despite the walking, and despite the fact that I forgot to turn my Nike+ monitor off when I first got home so it tracked my pace as slower than it should have been – I somehow STILL managed to log my fastest mile yet according to Nike+. I don’t see how, but I had to laugh when the little, “Congratulations on your fastest mile yet!” video popped up when I logged the run. Maybe my sensor got all wacky from the rain water? Who knows.

At this point, I’m just hoping my Saturday run is a bit less exciting…

Keep on running!